BooksBarbecue
Back Side by Side Save as PDF
Chapters (50)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Half Title Page
  3. SIDE by SIDE
  4. Dedication Page
  5. Epigraph
  6. Part I: Fall
  7. 1.
  8. 2.
  9. 3.
  10. 4.
  11. 5.
  12. Part II: Crawl
  13. 6.
  14. 7.
  15. 8.
  16. 9.
  17. 10.
  18. 11.
  19. 12.
  20. 13.
  21. 14.
  22. 15.
  23. 16.
  24. 17.
  25. 18.
  26. 19.
  27. 20.
  28. 21.
  29. 22.
  30. 23.
  31. 24.
  32. 25.
  33. 26.
  34. 27.
  35. 28.
  36. 29.
  37. 30.
  38. 31.
  39. Part III: Rise
  40. 32.
  41. 33.
  42. 34.
  43. 35.
  44. 36.
  45. 37.
  46. 38.
  47. 39.
  48. 40.
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. About the Author

Still, she has so much she wants to tell him. If he were there, she would thank him for his unconditional friendship. For speaking openly with her in their shared language of loss. For helping her understand the depth of her grief was inseparable from the depth of her love. For showing her it was possible to survive unspeakable trauma and loss. Not only survive, but live, meaningfully.

She reaches into her purse again and unfolds her notes. Then, of course, there’s you, Bear. My reason for doing any of this at all. Hawthorn would have called this speech my tombstone. My way of testifying to your life. What is a person’s life if not a collection of stories held together by a worn spine? And what is the purpose of these stories if not to be shared, another word for given, and perhaps, by some gentle miracle, heard, another word for received.

“Hello,” says a familiar voice, snapping her out of her reflections. Nirav stands in front of her with a plastic grocery bag in either hand, smiling, as he looks down on her. It was their turn to fetch the refreshments for the meeting.

“Hi,” she grins. “They’re waiting for you in the kitchen.”

“Well, we’re in for a treat tonight, let me tell you. ’Tis the season of gaining a stone, isn’t it? I splashed out for gingerbread and a chocolate Yule log, if you can believe that. I was this close to giving in to the mince pies.”

“I’ll take gingerbread over mince pies every time.”

“I suppose I could let you sneak one before the break but only because you’re my missus.” He gives her a sly wink.

“I wish I could, but my stomach’s doing flips.”

“Nervous, love?”

She drops her gaze to the sign-in sheet. She still feels strange when he calls her love or darling or sweetheart. Patience, their therapist told them last session. It takes ten times as long to rebuild a house as it does to pull it apart.

“You know,” he says, suddenly serious. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, I’m really proud of you. Thank you for including me. I can’t imagine missing any of this.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” she smiles. “Now, you better get to the kitchen. Barbie has no qualms about scolding youngsters.”

“One last thing.” He leans over the table and kisses her. A sweet little kiss that touches the corner of her mouth. Then he scuttles off to the kitchen.