“I know I told everyone I don’t care what they think, but…” I couldn’t quite find the words. It wasn’t the actual lie that bothered me but the fact that I’d had to lie at all. And that I needed to use prejudices I despised to manipulate the situation. “I just hate that it’s always judgment with that group, you know?”

“I get it. It’s especially unfair that you had to take the hit when you were the victim, but that’s who you are. You could’ve thrown the Kuos under the bus or torn into everyone there, but you sacrificed yourself.”

“I’m not the only one who took the hit,” I said quietly, the guilt shifting front and center.

“You took the path of less destruction.”

Maybe I wanted to hurt my parents in the moment too, I thought with shame.

“I hope it was worth it? Now that Hongbo’s gone?”

What.

Holy Mother of God.

Hongbo was gone.

I’d been so focused on the guilt, the worry, the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, that this very crucial piece of information hadn’t fully registered yet.

But I’d done it. I successfully burned the Kuo bridge down with a spectacular show of fireworks set to the background music of Tang dynasty performers.

“We did it. Hongbo’s out,” I said, because I needed to hear it. Because for one freaking second I wanted to focus on that and not on how I’d also burned down my reputation and my relationship with my parents—which now, in the aftermath’s rubble, felt like a much bigger deal than it had at the time of the explosion.

Andrew looked at me expectantly, waiting to see what I would do next.

Except I didn’t quite know. I’d been so obsessed with the virus infecting my life that I’d forgotten how to function without it.

“I’m thrilled for you. You deserve to be happy, Jing-Jing.”

I hesitated. “It’s Chloe,” I told him. Finally.

“Chloe.” He said my name slowly, like his tongue and mouth were trying on the new syllables and sounds.

“And you are…?” I asked because it felt uneven otherwise. “I mean, only if you want to tell me.”

He beamed. “I’m Drew. Drew Chan. Nice to meet you.”

“That’s, like, the same name as Andrew!”

He chuckled. “Not to me.”

I gave him a come on look, and we laughed together, partly because it was funny, partly because I didn’t know how else to react to this momentous step, and mostly because I had too many emotions fighting for attention and this was a form of release.

My mother’s voice cut both of us off immediately. “How can you two be laughing at a time like this?”

I turned my torso toward her, instinctively inching my butt farther from Drew out of guilt.