Andrew smiled easily, full of charm and, somehow, love. “Well, Jing-Jing hasn’t been quiet about you! It’s been such a joy hearing her childhood stories about the warm household she grew up in. I’m sure if I had known her when we were kids, I would’ve fallen in love the second I saw her teaching her Barbies math!”

My parents laughed heartily, filling the dining room with so much of the rare sound that, I swear, our austere photo of Yéye at the head of the table narrowed his eyes even more.

I imagined Andrew with a mental checklist, just working his way through every memory and factoid I’d uncomfortably offered up on my very extensive application—so extensive I’d even had to give them access to my contacts and social media to ensure my assigned operative didn’t have a previous client who ran in any of my circles.

“Although,” Andrew continued, “I guess that would’ve been a little strange given that I’m two years older, and when you’re that young, two years feels like a lifetime.”

“But not anymore,” my mother added quickly with a smile.

I could practically hear her as if she’d spoken the words aloud: Men mature slower than women, so marrying up in age is always a good idea, Jing-Jing. Especially because once you hit MENoPAUSE, the men will run right out the door—they hit pause on the marriage, that’s why it’s called that, I’m sure of it! So finding someone older means they’ll look wrinkly too and won’t flee.

Sigh. I just… I can’t.

For the record, Chloe does not stand for this kind of antifeminism, but right now I was Jing-Jing.

“If you’re two years older, then you must be graduating this year,” my mother said. “How wonderful!”

Andrew nodded. “I’m applying to medical schools right now.”

“Thank goodness!” My mother slapped the table. “I just learned recently that getting into a good college isn’t enough!” She turned to me. “Jing-Jing, do you remember Jeffrey Gu? He was the high school valedictorian last year and went to Stanford? Well, I heard he dropped out!”

I tilted my head side to side in a well, sort of gesture. “Jeff started his own company, Mǎmá. He left Stanford because he just received funding from a venture capitalist.”

“He’s a bum! He wears flip-flops and hoodies to work! And I heard he plays Ping-Pong and takes naps during the day!”

I held back a laugh. “I think Jeffrey Gu—one of Forbes’s latest Thirty Under Thirty tech CEOs—is just fine.”

She shook her head at me. “Dropping out of college is never okay.”

“Maybe it’s okay if you’ve already raised a million dollars for your company,” I mumbled. Then I noticed Andrew’s tightened shoulders and realized we were getting off track.