Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Author’s Note
- Author’s Note about Mandarin Words
- THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 1 MATCH.COM ON STEROIDS
- Drew CHAPTER 2 JUST ANOTHER DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 3 ROUND 1
- Drew CHAPTER 4 JUST ANOTHER NIGHT
- Chloe CHAPTER 5 MIDNIGHT MOONCAKES
- Chloe CHAPTER 6 FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 7 NON-FRANKENBĀO
- Chloe CHAPTER 8 BÀI TUŌ
- Drew CHAPTER 9 PÒNG!
- Drew CHAPTER 10 LINE
- Chloe CHAPTER 11 HOOK, LINE, SINKER
- Drew CHAPTER 12 DR. HUANG
- Chloe CHAPTER 13 FREE WILLY
- Drew CHAPTER 14 QUIZ
- Chloe CHAPTER 15 THE LAST HURRAH
- Chloe CHAPTER 16 PRETENDING
- Chloe CHAPTER 17 OFF THE CLOCK
- AFTER THANKSGIVING
- Chloe CHAPTER 18 BETTER SKIN
- Drew CHAPTER 19 FOOL
- Drew CHAPTER 20 HEAD BANGING
- Chloe CHAPTER 21 A TEXT A DAY
- Chloe CHAPTER 22 BA-BOOP-BOOP
- Drew CHAPTER 23 ELIZA SCHUYLER
- Chloe CHAPTER 24 ARMOR
- CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 25 CHRISTMAS COOKIES
- Chloe CHAPTER 26 THE PRICE OF PEARS
- Drew CHAPTER 27 O CHRISTMAS TREE
- Chloe CHAPTER 28 LUMINOUS
- Drew CHAPTER 29 GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
- Chloe CHAPTER 30 PRIME STRIP
- Drew CHAPTER 31 SHARKY SEA
- Chloe CHAPTER 32 SHATTERED
- Chloe CHAPTER 33 MIÀNZI
- Drew CHAPTER 34 UTERUS IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 35 WONTONS
- Drew CHAPTER 36 FALLEN
- Drew CHAPTER 37 HOLY HELL
- Chloe CHAPTER 38 NONWHITE CHRISTMAS
- Drew CHAPTER 39 FOR REALS
- Chloe CHAPTER 40 FISH BALLS
- Drew CHAPTER 41 BETWEEN A SHÍTÓU AND A HARD PLACE
- Drew CHAPTER 42 CHÁNG’É
- Chloe CHAPTER 43 ANSWERS
- Drew CHAPTER 44 CLOSING IN
- Chloe CHAPTER 45 DR. LIN
- Drew CHAPTER 46 THREE SUNS
- Chloe CHAPTER 47 FALLING FALLING FALLING
- Chloe CHAPTER 48 HOURGLASS
- Chloe CHAPTER 49 WANG DENTAL PALACE
- Drew CHAPTER 50 FULL ROM-COM
- Chloe CHAPTER 51 BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS
- Chloe CHAPTER 52 MOVING FORWARD
- Chloe CHAPTER 53 THE TALK
- Chloe CHAPTER 54 PICKLE
- Chloe CHAPTER 55 FAREWELL FRANKENBREAKFAST
- AFTER NEW YEAR’S
- Chloe CHAPTER 56 REIMMERSION
- Chloe CHAPTER 57 PURGATORY
- Chloe CHAPTER 58 THE CLIFF
- Drew CHAPTER 59 ABOUT TIME
- Chloe CHAPTER 60 HELL OF A GREETING
- Drew CHAPTER 61 I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE
- Chloe CHAPTER 62 FLYING
- Drew CHAPTER 63 SOARING
- Chloe CHAPTER 64 MY KIND OF FISH BALL
- Chloe CHAPTER 65 COLD
- CHINESE NEW YEAR
- Drew CHAPTER 66 BUNS
- Drew CHAPTER 67 DREW CHAN
- Chloe CHAPTER 68 VALENTINE’S DAY
- SPRING BREAK
- Chloe CHAPTER 69 SCAMPERING MOUSE
- TODAY
- Drew CHAPTER 70 EPILOGUE
- Chloe CHAPTER 71 EPILOGUE
- Snippets from Chloe’s application
- Sample of Rent for Your ’Rents Classification Chart
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Glossary
- aiyah:
- An expression of dismay, exasperation, or surprise, positive or negative. No accent marks are used since this is common enough that it has found its way into some English dictionaries.
- ǎyí:
- Translates to “aunt” or “auntie” and is used to address family friends.
- bā:
- Shorthand for “bǎbá.”
- bǎbá:
- Dad.
- bài tuō:
- Sometimes written as “bài tuō le,” it’s a phrase of exasperation meaning, roughly, “Please stop,” with a pleading, fed-up connotation.
- bāo:
- A soft, fluffy, white steamed bun.
- Cháng’é:
- This Chinese goddess drank a longevity potion and now lives in the moon with Moon Rabbit.
- chāshāo bāo:
- A Cantonese bun filled with barbecue pork, often found at dim sum and in Chinese bakeries.
- chī:
- Literally “to eat.” You say it in mahjong when you pick up a tile discarded by the player directly before you to form a run.
- dòuhuā:
- A silky, sweet tofu dessert that has many different regional varieties. The one I grew up with is soft tofu in a sugary syrup that melts in your mouth. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water!
- èrhú:
- A two-stringed, bowed musical instrument sometimes known as the Chinese violin.
- farmer’s calendar:
- The Chinese farmers’ calendar is analogous to astrological horoscopes, using Chinese zodiac animals instead of astrological signs.
- fēnlí:
- “To separate,” or “to split a pear,” depending on which Chinese characters are used. The two phrases are homophones.
- giǎ xiláng:
- A Taiwanese phrase meaning “scared to death.”
- gōng kuài:
- A pair of chopsticks used solely for serving.
- gōngxí:
- Congratulations.
- guāi:
- “Good” or “obedient,” usually used in reference to children.
- Gudetama:
- An egg yolk Sanrio character known for its laziness (and for being an egg yolk with a butt crack).
- hǎo:
- Another word for “good,” it serves as a polite greeting when used after “Ǎyí” or “Shǔshú.”
- hú:
- What you say when you win in mahjong.
- huàidàn:
- “Rotten egg,” often used to refer to naughty children either playfully or seriously.
- jìn lái:
- Come in.
- Jing-Jing:
- The “Jing” character in Chloe’s name is
, which is composed of the character for “sun,”
, written three times. Her legal first name is “Jing,” but her parents and family friends call her “Jing-Jing,” the repetition being a common Chinese tradition of endearment usually done with children. - kě’ài:
- Cute.
- kōng xīn cài:
- The “hollow-heart vegetable,” so named because of its hollow stems, is also known as water spinach.
- lāo:
- To scoop or fish something out of water.
- lǎo gōng:
- “Old man,” the companion to “lǎo pó.”
- lǎo pó:
- “Old woman,” sometimes used by a husband for his wife.
- lǎo tiān yé:
- Also said as “wǒ de lǎo tiān yé,” it’s similar to “Good heavens!” with an undertone of “How could you do this?”
- lèsè:
- Garbage.
- lí:
- Pear.
- liǎn:
- “Face,” as in the front part of a person’s head, or as used in the concept of saving face.
- Little Emperor syndrome:
- This term originated to describe the sons in mainland China during the one-child policy. Because the son was the sole heir to carry on the family name, he was often overindulged.
- mā:
- Shorthand for “mǎmá.”
- mǎmá:
- Mom.
- máobǐ:
- Literally a “brush made of hair.” It’s a paintbrush used for Chinese calligraphy and painting. A unique technique is used with this type of brush: it’s held perpendicular to the paper, with the index finger and thumb pinching the bamboo handle and the other three fingers curved beneath.
- miànzi:
- Oh, this phrase. It is discussed in detail in the book, but for the sake of brevity, it is “saving face” times a thousand. It refers to a person or family’s social status, reputation, and dignity.
- nǎinai:
- Paternal grandmother.
- nǐ hǎo:
- “Hello,” to someone you see in person.
- pípa:
- A four-stringed musical instrument sometimes known as the Chinese lute.
- pō chūqù de shuǐ:
- Poured-out water. This phrase is part of a longer Chinese saying about how daughters who are married off are like poured-out water to their old family, leaving them behind to join her husband’s family. This tradition is becoming less and less common.
- pòng:
- What you say in mahjong when you pick up a tile discarded by any player to form a triple.
- pìgu:
- Butt.
- printed name seal:
- Analogous to a signature in the West, and is often used on official paperwork, contracts, etc.
- qǐng jìn:
- Please enter.
- qípáo:
- A tight-fitting Chinese dress with a high cut that dates back to the nineteenth century and has modernized over time.
- Red Thread of Fate:
- A Chinese legend. It is believed that the god Yuè Xià Lǎorén uses an invisible red thread to connect two individuals destined to be together.
- shāchá:
- A savory, slightly spicy sauce or paste made from soybean oil, garlic, shallots, chilies, brill fish, and dried shrimp. Often used with hot pot.
- shěng qián:
- This phrase simply means “to save money,” but because of the frequency and severity with which it is used by some Chinese parents, it has come to evoke a whole world of emotions and duty to some Chinese Americans.
- shénjīng:
- Nerve or nerves.
- Shénme huí shì?:
- “What happened?” or “What’s going on?”
- shítóu:
- Rock.
- shūjuàn jiǎng:
- An honor given at Táidà University in Taipei to the top student in each department in each class each year.
- shǔshú:
- Translates to “uncle” and is used to address family friends as well as any uncle who is younger than your father.
- sī bǐng:
- Strip cake. Turnip sī bǐng is a flaky pastry with strips of turnip and often some seasoned meat and spring onion.
- Táidà:
- National Taiwan University.
- tiān āh:
- Similar to exclaiming, “Heavens!” Tiān means “sky.”
- tiánmiàn:
- Thick, smooth, sweet bean sauce.
- wàigōng:
- Maternal grandfather.
- wàipó:
- Maternal grandmother.
- wéi:
- “Hello,” used on the phone.
- wǔxiá:
- A genre of Chinese fiction that usually follows a martial-artist protagonist.
- xiàoshùn:
- Demonstrating filial piety. And so much more. My parents grew up learning about Confucius’s Twenty-Four Filial Exemplars, which gives examples of what you should be willing to do for your parents, including warming an icy lake with your naked body to catch fish for your mother and feeding yourself to the mosquitoes to spare your parents’ blood. While I was not taught the Exemplars as a child, obeying my parents was an expectation, not a request.
- xiǎo zhěntóu:
- Little pillow.
- xīnshǎng:
- To enjoy, appreciate, admire. This phrase somehow feels less like bragging and more sophisticated in Mandarin.
- yéye:
- Paternal grandfather.
- Zěnme gǎo de?:
- “What happened?” with an undertone of “What did you do wrong?”
- zhàjiàng noodles:
- Noodles with soybean paste.
- Zhōngguó jié:
- “Chinese knotting,” sometimes called “decorative knots,” is a craft dating back to the Tang and Song dynasty that is still practiced today. Long pieces of string are knotted and layered into elaborate designs to be used as wall hangings, jewelry, key chains, and more.