His breathing deepened. Without being able to see his face, I had no idea what he was thinking.

“Thank you for saying that,” he said, his voice even.

“I hope you can forgive me.” Especially when I don’t know how to forgive myself. “And if you can, I want to try again. I mean, only if you want to too, of course. Except this time, I’m all in. I choose you. You come first, the way it always should have been. Like you’ve always done for me. When we decide we’re ready to tell my parents, I will. And I’m going to accept whatever comes, even if it means cutting ties.”

Complete silence. Seriously? Was this boy trying to make me pee myself from stress? Because I was close.

Finally he said, “I can’t ask you to do that, Chloe.”

“You didn’t ask me to do anything. I’m telling you this is what I want.”

I knew it was my turn to fight for us—really fight for us—but I was also disappointed my big moment hadn’t gone as planned.

Some shuffling on his end—maybe he was adjusting the phone? Then: “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy to hear that, but it doesn’t change what you’d be sacrificing. Or that I still don’t belong in your world.”

I insisted, “You do belong. You—”

“I’m scared it bothers you that I dropped out of college,” he blurted out.

Oh, my heart.

Slowly, so it would sink in, I said, “That does not bother me. I don’t judge you. I don’t think of you any differently. But I am ashamed at how I reacted at first. And I do acknowledge that even though it doesn’t bother me, it’s still unfair that you have to deal with my parents’ future judgment. I wish I could shield you from that, but realistically, I know it’ll hurt regardless. It’s already hurting you. And sometimes I feel so horrible about that I think I should stay away from you for your own good. If that’s what you want, I more than understand. It feels selfish of me to ask you for another chance, but I also couldn’t not ask.”

“Oh, Chloe.” Tendrils of sympathy reached for me from each of his syllables. After another beat he repeated, “I can’t live with myself if I’m the reason you’d be sacrificing your relationship with your parents.”

“It’s not a sacrifice. And I’m not doing this just because of you.”