“Jing-Jing,” Drew said, gentle, as if asking me whether I was okay, but hearing that name come out of his soft, familiar lips frustrated me.

“What?” I said, a little more harshly than I’d meant to.

He leaned in close, much too close, and even though he was probably trying to get a private moment to ask what the hell was going on, his scent overwhelmed me. I’d fallen off his back simply because of my father’s presence not that long ago, but in this moment, with my parents’ and my lies infecting the air, our relationship, my brain, I gave in to my urges and pecked Drew on the lips.

His head snapped back in shock, and though I understood he was just surprised, it also felt like rejection. My parents pretended not to see.

Drew leaned back in, but not as close this time. “Are you okay? Do you want to go get some air?”

How could I be okay when I’d just found out my father had cancer? And I couldn’t even talk about it! How could they not tell me? How could we ever be normal—whatever that was—in each other’s presence again?

I felt myself crumbling. The room around me was crumbling too.

I turned to Drew, my eyes pleading, not sure what I needed but convinced he knew how to fix this.

“I think I should head home tonight,” he announced quietly to the table, his eyes downcast.

“No! Why?” flew out of my mouth.

My mother tsked at me. “If he wants to be by his grandmother’s side sooner, that’s noble.”

Drew gave me a look that seemed to say, You need time with them, and I’m in the way.

I shook my head at him. I had no fucking clue what I needed except to not be alone. And yes, if he left, I had my parents, but I would feel alone, which said a lot, and was precisely why I needed him here.

He gave me that you’ve got this smile that used to make me feel confident, but in this situation made me panic. I was flailing, no ground beneath me and nothing to hold on to.

“Are you sure you can get a flight out tonight?” my father asked, the first and only sign that he knew Drew was a human and in our presence.

Drew nodded. “My cousin works for United. Don’t worry about me.” Then he stood. “Thank you, Wang Ǎyí, Shǔshú, for your hospitality.”

My father sniffed loudly, wiping his nose with his napkin, and my mother nodded with a tight-lipped smile.

“Safe travels,” my father said.

“Best wishes to your grandmother and family,” my mother said.

I followed Drew out of the kitchen in a stupor.