I laughed. “You’re so honest, even adding the ‘I think’ at the end.”

“My answers may have been more stream-of-consciousness than advised for a job application, but it was the only way I could go through with it—type quickly and send before I changed my mind.”

I squeezed his hand.

Q: What’s your relationship with your family like?

A: Currently nonexistent. We don’t talk because I told them the truth about what I want in life (to be an artist), and they didn’t approve. In fact, I wonder if that would make me a better operative. I can understand what the clients are going through in a unique, personal way. I know how to support them.

How my heart hurt. I knew he didn’t feel this clinical about his relationship with his parents, but to see it that way on paper was still jarring.

Q: Will you be able to do holiday jobs?

A: For the foreseeable future, yep. No conflict at all. In fact, maybe it’s even a plus. Holidays alone are no fun. Not recommended.

Check all you are willing to do for a job:

Pretend to have a political allegiance different from your own

Pretend to have religious views different from your own

Learn a new skill, with lessons provided by Rent for Your ’Rents (please check all that apply):

Sports

Golf

Basketball

Football

Soccer

Frisbee

Dance

Instrument

Violin

Piano

Èrhú

Dulcimer

Pípa

Guitar

Games

Mahjong

Bridge

Chess

Chinese chess

Go

Chinese calligraphy

Chinese painting

Chinese history

Chinese philosophers

Language, spoken

Mandarin

Taiwanese

Cantonese

Language, written

Traditional characters

Simplified characters

Cooking

Learn new subjects for possible majors/careers/etc.

Science-related

Math-related

Sociology

Political science

Economics

Business

Health care

Entrepreneurship

Law

Tech

I paused and looked up when he started speaking.

“I signed up for every class I could take, especially the art ones. Chinese painting didn’t teach me anything I didn’t already know from playing around, but it was during that class that I first started experimenting with the paper.”

“When you talk about the company, you seem really appreciative.”

He sighed. “You know, I am grateful—it fed me all this time while giving me access to valuable resources I wouldn’t have had otherwise. But it’s also this strange dichotomy, where the good doesn’t get rid of the associated shame I sometimes feel.”

“Because you’re lying?” I guessed.

“Maybe. Except some lies are born out of love.”

Yup.

I asked, “Do you ever think about going home and saying you’re now an engineer or doctor or philosopher or something, then using your training to faux prove it?”

Hesitation. “Not anymore. I used to.”

“But…,” I urged.

More hesitation. “I don’t know how to be someone else with them, even if it means I get to have them back.”

Silence.