Rook sniggers. “Who are you and where is Ruin?” he says as he stands on a bench blasting terrible dance music.

“Hello to you too, Rook,” I reply. With my current mood, and the attitude from Rook, I’m determined to push any negative thoughts to the back of mind. I think about my future baby – what would that kid want me to do?

Suddenly, Rook’s shitty music taste is actually not so horrible. Still sucks, but I could dance. So I do.

Edge takes notice and looks at me as though I lost my mind. He knows me well enough to know there has to be something behind my change in behaviour. But Rook shrugs and joins in.

“Ruin I swear to god, you best not be enjoying this shit with Rook right now, because I don’t think I could handle two of you.” Edge glares at the two of us, but it just makes me dance harder to push the focus onto him. Before I know it, I’m up on the bench next to my favourite rookie in the NHL trying to twerk. If Ellis could see me now she might rethink our co-parenting arrangement.

“What the fuck is happening?” Anders’s voice comes from the doorway. Rook jumps from the bench, leaving me lonely and twerking. A very sad sight. I have gone so far in trying to seem normal that now it feels impossible to rein it back in.

“Don’t know, Cap,” Rook begins. “I think Ruin might have gotten laid, eh? He might finally be over Ellis, no more quiet brooding like Edge.” Rook laughs as I throw my shoe at him. My heart beats fast when they mention Ellis. They are too close to the truth for comfort.

“Well, I haven’t ever seen you like this.” Anders raises a suspicious brow at me, but now I want to guide the conversation away from Ellis.

“Nothing has happened, I just needed some time to get over her. She meant a lot to me. Let’s change the subject.” I jump down to the floor and walk to Anders and Rook.

Edge joins us over from the bench. “Can you try to make it look like you are getting ready for a game?” he urges.

Before I can find an inconspicuous reply, Anders grabs me by the elbow and pulls me into an unused corner of the room.

“Liam what the hell is going on with you?” he asks, an accusatory tone in his voice.

“Is it so crazy that I might just be happy?” I ask, frustrated I might have pushed myself to seem so calm that I tipped the scales in the wrong direction. I may not be made of rainbows, but I didn’t realise the team saw me as some downer the last few weeks.