“Yeah bud, I’m okay, can you grab my phone for me? I need to call Lyndsey, I’m going to be late for work.” All I need to do is get the phone and talk to Lyndsey, I might just tell her to leave the shop closed today and beg her to come look after Jack for me.

“Are you sore? You should call Liam.” All hope that I was hiding my pain goes out the window. Jack is little, but not stupid.

“Yeah I am,” I answer honestly. “But it’s okay, can you please pass me my phone? I will talk to Liam later, don’t worry.” Stay calm, I think to myself. Just focus on getting the phone, don’t think about the pain or the nausea. I will tell Liam when I have to but it has been a long time since he has dealt with a flare-up. Back in university I remember one time where he started questioning my use of medication. He thought he knew best and it killed me to want someone to lean on and not have them on your side.

“Ellis, you need to stop.” His voice a mix of anger and defeat. His jaw clenched together so tight I worry it might crack.

“Stop what?” I am in too much pain for his riddles. He stands next to my bed holding a sheet of pills away from me.

“I know how painkillers work. You don’t need more, you want more, there is a difference.” Each word feels like a dagger to the heart. I’ve heard this all before but never from him. I thought Liam understood.

“What did you just say?” I want him to take it back and I think when he sees the rising fire in my eyes he realises his mistake too late.

“Ellis…” He tries to explain but I am revved up. I am in so much pain I think death would be kinder and he wants to accuse me of drug chasing.

“No Liam, fuck you. Get out!” I throw the pillow from next to me at him. I wish I had something more substantial to hand but it’s the best I can do. Even that movement causes bile to rise in my throat.

“No, Ellis listen.” Falling to his knees at my bedside, he tries to take my hands in his but I am too mad to let him.

“You have no fucking idea do you? Oh, to be so perfect.” Tears flow down my face as the anger and pain pour out of me in tandem. “You think I want this? I thought you knew me better than that but I am not going to let some dude without a medical degree try to tell me what I’m feeling.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He wipes the tears from my cheeks but that act of comfort makes me madder.