laughing down the hall

like this before

my body loose

unaware of all the people

around us

this is how I feel on

the tennis court

maybe

this is what

happiness

feels like

Something

For some reason Annie stops

coming to the library at

lunch I keep

looking through books about

hair and illnesses

I keep taking notes in my

notebook

which is now almost full

I search at home on my phone

but I’m scared someone will

look at my searches so I try

hard to stick to books

one day after school

I pass Clara’s room and

she’s crouched down

on her knees

shoving something

into a drawer she

turns and sees me

her face looks

surprised and caught as if

stealing something from

a store

I walk by slightly more

buoyant than

usual

something

has changed

ripples

on

a

still

lake

Sleuth

You’re a snoop says Clara

stay out of my room

now I want to snoop more

snoop for clues

no one calls

Nancy Drew

a snoop

they call her a sleuth

I’m a sleuth

one day Clara’s gone

she’s somewhere with my mom

my dad’s somewhere in

the house or in the garage

I know he won’t come find

me because he’s still

working on the van

I tiptoe into

my sister’s room

and open the drawer

I take a deep breath take

a last look around

start digging in the drawer

at the bottom in the back

under a stuffed banana is a

book the size of a thin Bible

I know what it is but I dare not

open it

I put it back

in the drawer

my hand is shaking

but my mind is leaping

it is absolutely silent in

the house

so silent I almost think

I have

disappeared

like steam

The Diary

I can’t stop thinking

about the diary

it calls me

sings

to me

glows through the drawer through

the walls into my blue room

with the blue wallpaper

during the day the diary doesn’t

speak to me as much

but once in a while

when I’m at tennis practice

I hear a voice

it’s not a human voice

it sounds raspy and

like a whisper

the voice tells me to

touch the diary’s rough edges

to touch its smooth top to

feel its heat on my hands

I want to open it

to see the letters that melt like

wax I want to read

my sister’s story I want to

hear someone speak to me

there are words in

this house

after all

Open It

I tell Annie about the diary

open it

and read it

she says

are you sure

isn’t that bad I say

yes but we’re trying

to solve a mystery

she says

her eyebrows look cross

her arms at her side

palms open and up

I feel weird

it feels weird

I say

what would

Nancy Drew do

she says

I know what

she would do

Annie walks away

I see her

talking to