he looks like a frog

you’re SO SO ugly

open your eyes

he laughs with his fingers pulling

his eyes to make

them squinty

I used to be

lanky laughing

now my hair is

thick and short I wear plastic

glasses with pink frames

my face puffy like a chipmunk

skin stretched out greasy

my mom buys my clothes

and I think they look funny

I button my shirts at the top

like she tells me to

I think my pants are too short

at least she doesn’t use mothballs

I know my clothes look different from

other people’s clothes but

I don’t know how exactly

most days I feel bruised and blue

I know I don’t look good

I know people don’t think I look good

I know I’m not popular or

likeable

other kids watch Steve yell at me

most kids glance at me

look away

their eyes sorry and

filled with pity but

pity has no legs

pity is pitiful

still

useless

others linger like Josh

whose eyes stare right

at me

into me

my hands shake and I feel like

I’m running on stilts

my eyes hold in the tears as if

I’m running with a full cup of

water that I don’t want to spill

I ask the birds to

come help me

the birds are free

I wish I could go up and

down like them

today their calls sound like shrieks they

circle but don’t

come

down

Sally Levin

Sally Levin finds me crying in

the locker room after PE

are you okay

she sits down on the bench

her body like a small wet heater

I can’t answer because the tears

burn

in my chest

my heart too busy swelling in

its wetness

her question makes me

cry the endless kind of

tears the ones that aren’t

meant for anyone to see

I want her to leave me alone

I want her to stay with me I want

to tell her something

about my fists that don’t only

clench and the broken birds

inside my chest

but I don’t know where

to begin so

I don’t

begin

at all

Tennis

Sometimes I bring a tennis racket

and a container of old balls

to the park

I always put my phone on

the ground near the back fence

just in case my mom calls

even though she should know

where I am since I come here

all the time

It’s the only time I take my

phone out

it must be so lonely always

in my backpack

it’s a hand-me-down from Clara

everyone at school has newer

better shinier phones

not me never me

mom always calls when I’m

on the other side picking up

balls and I have to run

all the way back and pick

up her call

It’s always the same thing

dinner soon, come home

But before she calls

I know I have some time

and I hit balls against

the tennis wall

the harder I hit

the harder the ball comes