and I’m afraid of not

finding anyone to sit with

I tear the edges off a bagel and

slip the bits into

my mouth

I look around the library

to make sure no one sees me

Annie has finished eating in

the cafeteria with her classmates

like she always does

she’s looking at books now

I wave her over and

tell her about practice at

the bubble and

Coach Meredith

and how fun tennis is

I told you so

she beams

I also tell her about my

failed experiments

how about hair books

she asks

have you looked for those

Annie always thinks of the most

obvious thing

we scan the books on

the H shelf together

Annie is so close to me that

I can hear her

breathing and

smell her pizza lunch

A HAIR BOOK

I squeal

shhhhhh

the librarian raises

her eyes

at us

her glasses half down

we’re afraid to search

on the internet

the librarian is always telling

us we’re being watched

I hope the book will

change everything

unlock

all the locks of

my life

Research

It turns out

there’s a whole section of

books on hair

we read about the protein keratin

and how hair

skin and nails

are all made of it

we learn that alopecia describes

a person’s thin or

balding patches

we learn about the parts of hair

such as the hair shaft that is the actual

hair strand

about the root and

the follicle or the place the hair

root grows from

then there’s the hair bulb which is

below the follicle and that’s where our

hair’s color pigment or melanin is produced

so that’s why we have black hair I say

can we switch our hair bulbs

Annie laughs

I want a purple bulb

I was thinking of a blond bulb but

maybe Annie’s right

a purple bulb would be

much more

original

Illnesses

Another book lists a bunch of possible

reasons for hair loss

diabetes

thyroid disease

lupus

polycystic ovary syndrome

cancer

medicines

diet pills

hair chemicals

poor nutrition

disrupted hair growth cycle

Annie and I read each aloud

then look at each other

blankly

how can we

possibly know

which one it is and

who can

help

us

Laughing

Annie and I meet in the library

at lunchtime every day

to read about hair

we sit on the ground

cross-legged in the H section

but after a week we still

aren’t sure how

to test these things

we’re hair experts

Annie says one day

I laugh

maybe we can set up a table

and label it

all your hair questions answered H-A-I-R

Annie falls on her back while

she holds her stomach

we’re H-A-I-R for you

she keeps laughing

if we solve this mystery

we’ll be like Sherlock Combs

Annie snorts

I only half laugh because

we’re stuck again

another dead end

the bell rings

Annie laughs all the way

down the hall

eventually I start

laughing again because

she’s still laughing

I can’t ever remember