our happiness

Nothing

We get back to searching but

can’t find the wig

and the sun is already hanging in

mid

air

like a giant red mole on

the sky’s face

we peek one more time at

the bunnies

we get on our bikes

pedal home so full of

California and

bunnies

in our

hearts

that we almost forget about

our failed

mission

almost

Hair Dream #2

In my dream, my mom learns how to make my hair into a bun. For a week I leave the bun up, even during my showers and I feel like a warrior. I flex my muscles in front of the mirror. On the eighth day when I release the bun a thousand doves fly into the sky. They tell me that they’re flying to California and ask if I want to go. When I say yes, they overlap their wings and carry me across the prairies on a magical white carpet. Everything is white. Even my hair has turned white.

Chinese School

The next day is Saturday

and Saturday means

Chinese School

where we drive

an hour to

meet with all the other Chinese

people who

drive hours

to meet with all of us

we take

Chinese language classes taught by

our moms and dads we

write calligraphy

sometimes I wonder what my schoolmates

are doing on Saturday mornings

I wonder whether they would

laugh at me now

there are a hundred of us

half here half nowhere half surviving

half drowning

this Saturday

I can’t stop thinking about

the wig

where is the wig

where is the wig

WHERE IS

THE

WIG

we practice a

sword dance for

the yearly show we giggle

in our crouched

poses swords up

our costumes with sleeves so wide a

small poodle could fit in there

my sister dances

slowly and carefully

she’s wearing a beret today

there must be ten bobby pins to

hold her beret down

somehow I’m etched into these other

people I see once a week

but I’m not

sure how

I keep forgetting the moves

keep stepping on my own

sleeves

concentrate Frances

yells Mrs. Wu

but I can’t focus

all I know is that

this is taking away my

sleuthing

time

From

Like my parents

most people at Chinese School are

from a place

really far away called Taiwan

people always say

I know where Thailand is

I’m not sure where either is

exactly but I’ve gone to

Taiwan before

I just don’t remember

my mom is originally from

mainland China the big country

that looks like Mother Goose

she left there during a war and ended

up in Taiwan

people sometimes ask me

where I’m from and I say Michigan

they always shake their heads

no where are you from from

I think they mean Taiwan and China

can I be from somewhere I’ve

never really been

I always nod and smile

because they seem to know what

they are saying and I don’t

question them

other times people say