maybe

New Plan

Even though Annie and I didn’t

find the wig

it stays in the back

of my head like an

empty hanger at the

end of a closet

maybe we can

figure out

why Clara’s hair is

falling out

Annie shouts

while she tries to hit

one of my tennis balls back

but can’t

nice topspin

she gasps

thanks

I say back

then I shout

HOW

she walks to the net to

pick up a ball with her

ankle and racket

I don’t know

I say

maybe I’ll start spying more

at home

don’t forget

to take

lots of notes

she says as she

tosses a ball to me

it’s your serve

but be nice

she laughs

I serve and it’s an ace

in the corner

as if it’s a sign

that our plan

is a good one

Fix It

My parents are arguing

about Clara’s hair again

stop talking so loudly my mom says in Chinese

I sit at the top

of the stairs with my

notebook and pen

my dad says in English

it will stop falling out if she wants it to stop falling out

she can fix it

we can fix it

she needs to exercise more

that won’t help my mom says

my dad says something

about doctors

American doctors don’t know anything

my mom says

I hear the garage door open and

slam shut

my dad is almost

done drilling the snap-on

buttons for the curtains in the van

he’s changing our van into a

travel van so

we can drive across

the country and see everything

see America the Beautiful

he says

my mom is sewing brown

velour curtains that

cover all the windows so

no one

can see in

Hair Dream #3

In another dream, I brush my hair before leaving for school, one stroke down after another but one stroke brings down a huge clump of hair as thick as a horse’s tail, then another, and another, until I’m bald.

Haircuts

My dad is cutting Clara’s hair

because she doesn’t

want to go out to get her

hair cut

she doesn’t want

anyone

to see

they sit on the deck

Clara has a towel around

her neck my dad slowly and

carefully trims

the back of her hair to a bob

he always cuts it a little

too short they always

pick the least windy days

when the sun is out

sometimes Clara leans her

head back and lets

the sun warm her face

from inside the house

I see them laughing

I see their mouths moving

up and down

back and forth

but I can’t hear anything

my notebook is

still

empty

Hair Dream #4

In this dream, I’m a hair stylist. A young girl comes into my salon, sits in the chair. She has no hair on her head. Cut my hair into a bob, please, she asks. I’m too embarrassed to tell her that she has no hair, so I pretend to cut her hair into a bob. I blow-dry her head. I even give her the mirror at the end, turn her chair around to show her the back.