I look at the envelopes in my hands and then at my parents.

“She…?”

Mom starts crying even harder, leaning over and kissing her daughter’s cheek, but doesn’t answer me. Dad just nods his head.

I hear Indigo gasp. She quickly pushes me aside and vomits onto the front lawn.

“It’s okay,” Mom says, wiping her nose. “She’s going to wake up. Did you hear me, baby? You have to wake up, okay?” She shakes Olivia’s body and Dad gently takes her aside. He nods to the paramedics to take my sister.

“Tom!” Mom screams. “I’ll never forgive you!” She beats at his chest. “Don’t let them take her!”

Dad continues to cry silently and tries to guide her to their car.

“Thomas, please don’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.” She takes his face in her hands, trying to get him to look at her.

“Lorelai,” he whispers, his voice breaking, “we have to let her go.”

Dad puts a reassuring hand on her cheek, but she smacks it away. And that breaks Dad apart. He just cries soundlessly as she continues to howl.

“Take me back to her,” she pushes him. “She’s my daughter!”

“She’s my daughter too!” he wails and Mom freezes, then falls into his arms.

I watch as the paramedics take my sister, close the ambulance door, and drive away, leaving a broken family behind.

“See you at the hospital,” Dad says in a weak and tremulous whisper, sending frightened anticipation down my spine. Indigo takes my hand, puts me in the car, clips in my seatbelt, closes the door, and drives us away.

I stare at the envelopes in my hands, deciding whether I should open my letter or not. Seems risky. Too soon.

But I want to know why she did it. Maybe she thought we didn’t love her anymore? Were her school grades bad? Were the other kids bullying her?

I sigh and open the envelope. As soon as I see her handwriting, my eyes blur with tears and I need a minute to clear my vision before I can read it.

Dear Elias,

If you’re reading this, it means I’ve found the courage to do it.

Please don’t be mad at me or yourself. You had nothing to do with this. You were nothing but a good brother, my biggest supporter, and my greatest friend. I want you to know that I’ve always loved you very much and I still love you now.

I would’ve loved to see you marry and have kids (preferably with Indigo — I really think she’s the one). And I will. I know I will. It’s just that I’ll be looking from above.