Elias laughs and leads her to the exit, where we say our goodbyes.

“It was nice meeting you,” he declares and closes the door.

He turns and faces me with the biggest grin on earth. His happiness is so contagious that I can’t stop my own smile from spreading across my face.

“I want to paint something in the little room,” he states, his eyes sparkling.

“Then do it,” I tell him. “It’s your house.”

“It’s my house.”

I look at the door to the little room, about to suggest going in, when his enormous arms grab my legs and raise me in the air. A high-pitched scream of surprise escapes me.

“It’s my damn house,” he shouts happily.

My hands go to his shoulders for stability, and I look down at his lips.

“It’s your house,” I mumble.

He stops moving, his gaze dropping from my eyes to my mouth. I swallow while he slowly puts me down. Neither of us makes a move, and I’m grateful for it. It’s his turn to swallow as I gently land on my feet.

My palms are on his chest and his hands are on my back. When we finally make eye contact, it’s devastating. The urge to fill the silence and break the moment takes over me, showing me how little progress I’ve actually made.

“What do you want to paint?” I gabble and he seems utterly confused. “On the wall I mean.”

“Oh.” He clears his throat and takes a step back. “A tree.”

I hate how disappointed he looks and how cold I feel as he takes another step back. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Going to therapy has become a weekly thing for me, and, as my therapist told me, other people shouldn’t be hurt by my lack of communication. I’m doing my best to put that into practice.

“I—,” I start and open my eyes to see Elias raising his gaze from the floor, “I’m not rejecting you, Elias.”

It’s hard looking him straight in the eyes, but I want to do it. He seems taken aback.

“It’s called self-sabotage,” I admit and he nods. There’s a moment or two of silence where we just watch each other, gazes burning skin.

“So? Do you think Livy is going to love it?” he says, changing the topic and once again surprising me with how patient he is.

Despite the fact that he’s had numerous occasions over the past few weeks, Elias has never pushed me beyond what I feel comfortable doing. He’s let me speak if I’ve wanted to or stay silent if needed. I’m thankful for the way he’s handling things, but I know he’ll be done with them soon. It’s only a matter of time.