Yet surely there can’t be anything worse than dying alone. Do I follow the regulations, or follow my heart? Breaching her confidentiality would be a grave disciplinary offence, and I arrived here with a shady record as it is.

I could be sacked.

But sometimes medicine isn’t about the rules, it’s about what’s right. I already know what I have to do.

I go into the corridor to call Ant on my mobile. ‘Is Joel in Brighton at the moment?’

In the background, I can hear the twins screaming for more of something. A bedtime story, maybe. ‘Think so. Why?’

‘His ex is here, in the hospital. Zoë, Leo’s mum. It’s serious, she may not have long to live. She recognized me and so she must know I know Joel, but she hasn’t asked me to call him. Would he want to know? She’s got nobody else.’

‘Shit. Shit. Poor Leo. Yes, I do think Joel would want to know. Let me call him now.’

‘Thanks. Tell him to go straight to the gastro ward, Zoë’s going to theatre so she’s not my patient anymore. And it’ll probably complicate things if we see each other.’

‘Even now?’ Ant asks, and I wonder what he knows, or suspects.

I hesitate. Whatever happens tonight, this will be tough on Joel. ‘All right. Tell him . . . tell him, I’m here if he needs me.’

It’s past midnight when my skin prickles and I know he’s behind me.

I’ve finished with a patient who sprained her ankle in the middle of a drunken jig and it’s been a struggle to keep my patience with her mates and their chorus of ‘Danny Boy’.

When I turn, Joel has that untethered look family and friends get when the worst happens to the people they love.

But he also looks well. Healthy, especially without that silly TV make-up. My pulse still quickens at the sight of him, but I don’t step towards him to embrace or shake his hand.

‘Hey, Joel. You’ve been to the ward, I guess. How is she?’

‘In surgery.’ His eyes focus on mine, as though they’re asking the question he daren’t articulate: Is she going to die?

I check my list, tell the charge nurse I need two minutes to talk to a relative, and take Joel into the family room. It’s been refurbed since I waited here with Tim and Ant fourteen years ago but sometimes – now – I do remember exactly how terrifying it felt.

‘The doctors have explained what’s wrong with her?’

‘Something’s burst in the blood vessel coming out of her heart?’

I nod. ‘Yes. The surgery is to try to repair it. But the level of bleeding means there’s a very big risk she won’t make it. I’m really sorry.’

Joel shakes his head. ‘How did it happen?’