He was a bit surprised I guess to find out that reality is different from his fantasies. He found out that spankings really do hurt; in fact, that discipline really hurts. Sometimes I wonder what world some guys are living in. They see a picture of a caned ass and think it looks cool, never stopping to realize what it must feel like. Well, ask my husband, it hurts!

A cage is also no fun to spend time in; did he really expect it would be?

The reality is that the excitement of the cage wears off very quickly since it is very boring and very uncomfortable. However, I believe that pain is a very effective correction tool. While I have compassion for my husband's suffering, I understand that the pain itself is short-lived but, hopefully, the lesson learned will be long remembered.

My main advice to women is that they should understand, really understand and embrace the fact that the pain they inflict will fade very quickly so they shouldn't fear inflicting it. A man's not made of glass.

Stubbing a toe hurts, right? But a minute later the pain is gone, almost forgotten, but you have learned to avoid that table leg, right? Women happily accept their own pain, terrible pain (examples: child birth, monthly cramps), but does that crush us beyond repair? Of course not!

So why fear giving a man the discipline he needs when the pain itself is momentary?

Although we live this lifestyle, we keep it very private. To all who know us, and actually for the vast majority of the time, we are the everyday married couple. We do things and live just exactly as most people do.

There are, of course, a few aspects of the marriage that are probably unique. For instance, whatever I say goes, no exceptions. Also, the door leading to the basement has a deadbolt lock (to prevent snoopers) and even though we have no pets, there is a large dog crate down there.

Occasionally he will require correction. Lately we have been using a technique called Riding the Horse and I learned about it on the Internet.

The horse is basically a bench with a beam. The idea is that he is made to stand with his male sexual organs resting on a pointed, but not actually sharp, wooden board as he straddles the beam. The board is just a little too high, so that having both feet flat on the floor is just too painful. His hands are usually handcuffed behind him and attached to the ceiling by rope, forcing his body to lean slightly forward, which exposes primarily the perineum and his organs to the pointed beam.