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Back Day of the Accident Save as PDF
Chapters (71)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. What readers are saying about
  5. Epigraph
  6. Prologue
  7. Part One
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. Part Two
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. 49
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. Part Three
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. 55
  65. 56
  66. 57
  67. 58
  68. Epilogue
  69. Acknowledgements
  70. THE NEXT THRILLER BY NUALA ELLWOOD
  71. THE BEGINNING

The officers lead me to my spot and though my lawyer has prepared me for this moment, rehearsed it until I’m pitch-perfect, it is still a shock to be in this room. I look up to a sea of black-robed figures all on their feet and I’m reminded of Elspeth’s charcoal drawing of the crows that used to litter the meadow at Larkfields. When she’d finished it we hung it on the wall in the kitchen so everyone could admire it. Yet, though Elspeth had been very proud of the drawing, I had always found it chilling, as though it were alluding to something much darker, something rotten that lay hidden at the heart of our family. And now, in this moment, when my mind should be focused on the proceedings at hand, all I can think of is the collective noun for a group of crows.

A murder.

I swallow the thought as the judge begins to speak. As he reads out the list of charges I lower my eyes and try to summon Elspeth to my side again. But all I can see is the river and that secret spot where the two alder trees, leafless and bone clean, bend their heads towards each other. I recall the pain, the eerie silence. The panic. The fear. I hear the words I told myself over and over. This is for the best; this way I can wipe the slate clean and make it all better.

‘Margaret Rose Allan.’

The judge is addressing me. I stand up. I try to appear calm though my left leg is shaking violently.

The judge continues to speak. I hear the word ‘manslaughter’ and though I have prepared for this, the enormity of it suddenly hits.

‘How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?’

‘Forgive me, Elspeth,’ I think as I enter my plea. ‘Please forgive me.’

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Part One

1

Lewes Victoria Hospital, Lewes, East Sussex
Five weeks earlier
Monday 17 July 2017

I wake to a liquid world. Orbs of yellow light hang in front of me. I try to blink them away but they grow bigger and bigger until their bloated shape is all I can see.

I close my eyes and the pain begins; faint at first then raw, excruciating, splitting my head into tiny pieces that fall into the dead space around me as I lie here unable to move. I hear movement in the room and voices low and muffled. A hand touches my arm and I feel something sharp penetrate my skin.

‘She’s stirring.’

A male voice. He sounds like he is under water. I stay still, my breath rising and falling alongside the pain in a twisted tandem. Up and down, up and down.

‘Have we managed to contact her husband?’