Chapters (71)
51
It is a perfect late-summer morning. The sun hangs lazily beside a white cloud as though trying to make up its mind whether to hide or shine. I lay my blanket down on the ground beneath the alder trees and watch as a heron pokes its beak into the water on the other side of the river. Elspeth loved herons. She said they were her spirit animal; whenever she’d had a bad day one would appear and make everything better.
The heron is a sign that I’m doing the right thing. Elspeth is near and in a short while I will be with her again.
I sit down on the ground and open my bag, taking out the boxes of painkillers. I lift out the bottle of cheap vodka that I bought on the way here. Hopefully, if I drink enough, I should be knocked out before the drugs take effect.