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Back Day of the Accident
Chapters (71)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. What readers are saying about
  5. Epigraph
  6. Prologue
  7. Part One
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. Part Two
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. 49
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. Part Three
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. 55
  65. 56
  66. 57
  67. 58
  68. Epilogue
  69. Acknowledgements
  70. THE NEXT THRILLER BY NUALA ELLWOOD
  71. THE BEGINNING

I busied myself preparing dinner, listening as Elspeth explained the intricacies of weaving to Sean who, despite his frostiness with me, was at least spending time with Elspeth. He’d been doing a lot of late nights at the office recently, sometimes going days without seeing her. But I couldn’t really complain.

He never said it but I knew it irked him that I still hadn’t gone back to work. Though he knew that what I’d been through when I was younger had damaged me and he knew that I just wanted to be there for Elspeth, to give her the childhood I hadn’t had. He also knew how clingy Elspeth was. We used to call her the little shadow because that’s what she was like, particularly with me. Wherever I went, she would go too. When she was very small she wouldn’t let me out of her sight. It wasn’t until she was about seven that I was finally able to go to the loo on my own. We thought school would make her more independent but the moment she arrived home she would come and sit by my side and cuddle into me. When I dropped her off at the school gates she would ask what I was going to be doing that day. ‘You won’t be late to collect me, will you, Mummy? Promise me you’ll be there?’ So the thought of returning to work, particularly to the soulless reception jobs, which were all I was qualified for, just seemed out of the question. But there was another reason now, one I never told anyone, one I barely even admitted to myself, and that was if I did go back there would be no time to work on the novel. Writing that book had become my lifeline, my sanity, though I made sure I worked on it in secret when Sean was out. Whenever he was home I would busy myself with Elspeth, take her on nature walks, sit with her while she did her crafting, made it look like she was a full-time occupation. And Sean believed the lie.

I think back to that evening. I had stood chopping carrots at the kitchen counter while Elspeth and Sean chatted about feathers and wire. But after that there’s nothing, just a deep sense that I was waiting for something – or was it someone? I don’t know because the next thing I remember is waking up in hospital with Dr Elms repeating my name.

14

Tuesday 1 August

I am in bed in a strange room. As my eyes begin to focus I see a dark wooden wardrobe, a kitchen counter, a white kettle, and I start to panic. This is real. My little girl is gone and I am trapped here.