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Back Day of the Accident
Chapters (71)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. What readers are saying about
  5. Epigraph
  6. Prologue
  7. Part One
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. Part Two
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. 39
  48. 40
  49. 41
  50. 42
  51. 43
  52. 44
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. 49
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. Part Three
  61. 52
  62. 53
  63. 54
  64. 55
  65. 56
  66. 57
  67. 58
  68. Epilogue
  69. Acknowledgements
  70. THE NEXT THRILLER BY NUALA ELLWOOD
  71. THE BEGINNING

Dear Mummy,

They’ve told me that I’m starting a new school tomorrow and I’m scared. I won’t know anybody.

Zoe goes to the school next door to mine. It’s a school for bad kids she said. I asked her if she liked it but she just shrugged her shoulders and turned her music up.

Now I’m lying in bed writing this and my hands are shaking I feel so nervous. I’ve tried to think of my happy thoughts but Zoe’s music is drowning them out. My uniform is hanging up on the back of the door. It smells all musty and damp because Weasel Face got it from a charity shop. This one is all grey except the tie, which is blue with yellow stripes. Even my shoes are old. They used to belong to one of the other girls but she’s grown out of them. Weasel Face said they had ‘plenty of wear in them yet’.

I wish I could read something to take my mind off things. There are books here but they’re not good ones, just annuals and ones with glitter and puppies on the cover.

Zoe’s smoking again. She must have gone through a whole pack tonight. I told Weasel Face about it and she just laughed and said Zoe was a law unto herself, whatever that means.

Anyway, I’m going to try to sleep now. I’ll dream of you and Daddy and our cosy home and I’ll wish with all my heart that when I wake up I’m back there with you.

I love you.

Your lovely daughter xxx

17

‘Here, drink this.’

Sonia passes me a bottle of mineral water. We’re sitting on a bench in a little side street, off the main thoroughfare.

‘Thank you,’ I say, taking the bottle. ‘I just need a minute to gather myself.’

‘Sure,’ says Sonia. ‘Take your time. Look, I know it’s none of my business but who was that woman?’

‘She’s the mother of my … of a man I used to know,’ I say, pausing to regulate my shallow breathing. ‘His name was Ben.’

‘She was pretty pissed off with you,’ says Sonia. ‘What happened?’

‘Ben and I got into some trouble when we were younger,’ I say, looking up the street in case Barbara is heading this way. ‘It ended badly. I can’t really … It’s too painful.’

‘That’s fine,’ says Sonia. ‘You don’t need to talk about it. You’ve been through enough these past few months. I mean, I don’t know the ins and outs but Amanda told me a little about what happened. Jeez, to lose your little girl like that; it must be hell.’