Chapters (93)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Chapter 18
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- Chapter 23
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- Chapter 27
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Chapter 34
- Chapter 35
- Chapter 36
- Chapter 37
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Chapter 41
- Chapter 42
- Chapter 43
- Chapter 44
- Chapter 45
- Chapter 46
- Chapter 47
- Chapter 48
- Chapter 49
- Chapter 50
- Chapter 51
- Chapter 52
- Chapter 53
- Chapter 54
- Chapter 55
- Chapter 56
- Chapter 57
- Chapter 58
- Chapter 59
- Chapter 60
- Chapter 61
- Chapter 62
- Chapter 63
- Chapter 64
- Chapter 65
- Chapter 66
- Chapter 67
- Chapter 68
- Chapter 69
- Chapter 70
- Chapter 71
- Chapter 72
- Chapter 73
- Chapter 74
- Chapter 75
- Chapter 76
- Chapter 77
- Chapter 78
- Chapter 79
- Chapter 80
- Chapter 81
- Chapter 82
- Chapter 83
- Chapter 84
- Chapter 85
- Acknowledgements
- About the Author
- Also by Charlotte Philby
- About the Publisher
‘Look, one day I might feel differently, but right now I’m just not … It’s not that I’m not committed to you,’ she added, stumbling on her words, for a moment remembering the exhilarating freedom of Moscow, of being fully immersed in life as an autonomous unit.
It wasn’t as though she’d done anything to betray his confidence. Even when the thought crossed her mind, she had never been unfaithful.
‘Besides, I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. It’s not practicable.’
‘Practicable? Sure,’ his voice was dismissive and she longed for his usual carefree tone.
‘Ask again, in a couple of years, I might feel differently.’
He didn’t tell her to go fuck herself, as she would have done if the tables had been turned. Instead, they sat there in silence and finished their sandwiches and then walked back to the house, had sex and fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.
They didn’t speak of it again. Perhaps he couldn’t bear the possibility of another rejection, or the conversation such a setback might lead to in terms of where this was all going. Tom was never one to rock the boat.
The day she had returned to London for good, Gabriela felt like she had left a part of herself behind, that a piece of her soul was still roaming the streets of Moscow. Soon enough, though, they settled back into their usual routine, evenings lounging at the house with a book, Tom standing occasionally to select another record from the vinyl collection that took up half the living room.
‘It’s good to have you back,’ he said one night a few weeks after her return as they lay in easy silence, head-to-toe on the sofa. When she looked up and saw him there, splayed across a cushion in his characteristic state of repose, she smiled. In that moment she didn’t want to be anywhere else.
At King Charles Street, the pace of life provided the perfect contrast to time with Tom. In her absence, new faces had emerged as old ones moved on and out into different departments, pursuing other careers or scattering themselves in bureaus across the world.
Emsworth, on the rare occasions when he was actually in the office, seemed more distracted than usual, troubled by something, though she could hardly imagine who or what, given that he seemed to come and go as he pleased, apparently answerable to no one.