Back A Double Life
Chapters (93)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Chapter 10
  15. Chapter 11
  16. Chapter 12
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Chapter 22
  27. Chapter 23
  28. Chapter 24
  29. Chapter 25
  30. Chapter 26
  31. Chapter 27
  32. Chapter 28
  33. Chapter 29
  34. Chapter 30
  35. Chapter 31
  36. Chapter 32
  37. Chapter 33
  38. Chapter 34
  39. Chapter 35
  40. Chapter 36
  41. Chapter 37
  42. Chapter 38
  43. Chapter 39
  44. Chapter 40
  45. Chapter 41
  46. Chapter 42
  47. Chapter 43
  48. Chapter 44
  49. Chapter 45
  50. Chapter 46
  51. Chapter 47
  52. Chapter 48
  53. Chapter 49
  54. Chapter 50
  55. Chapter 51
  56. Chapter 52
  57. Chapter 53
  58. Chapter 54
  59. Chapter 55
  60. Chapter 56
  61. Chapter 57
  62. Chapter 58
  63. Chapter 59
  64. Chapter 60
  65. Chapter 61
  66. Chapter 62
  67. Chapter 63
  68. Chapter 64
  69. Chapter 65
  70. Chapter 66
  71. Chapter 67
  72. Chapter 68
  73. Chapter 69
  74. Chapter 70
  75. Chapter 71
  76. Chapter 72
  77. Chapter 73
  78. Chapter 74
  79. Chapter 75
  80. Chapter 76
  81. Chapter 77
  82. Chapter 78
  83. Chapter 79
  84. Chapter 80
  85. Chapter 81
  86. Chapter 82
  87. Chapter 83
  88. Chapter 84
  89. Chapter 85
  90. Acknowledgements
  91. About the Author
  92. Also by Charlotte Philby
  93. About the Publisher

‘Look, one day I might feel differently, but right now I’m just not … It’s not that I’m not committed to you,’ she added, stumbling on her words, for a moment remembering the exhilarating freedom of Moscow, of being fully immersed in life as an autonomous unit.

It wasn’t as though she’d done anything to betray his confidence. Even when the thought crossed her mind, she had never been unfaithful.

‘Besides, I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. It’s not practicable.’

‘Practicable? Sure,’ his voice was dismissive and she longed for his usual carefree tone.

‘Ask again, in a couple of years, I might feel differently.’

He didn’t tell her to go fuck herself, as she would have done if the tables had been turned. Instead, they sat there in silence and finished their sandwiches and then walked back to the house, had sex and fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.

They didn’t speak of it again. Perhaps he couldn’t bear the possibility of another rejection, or the conversation such a setback might lead to in terms of where this was all going. Tom was never one to rock the boat.

The day she had returned to London for good, Gabriela felt like she had left a part of herself behind, that a piece of her soul was still roaming the streets of Moscow. Soon enough, though, they settled back into their usual routine, evenings lounging at the house with a book, Tom standing occasionally to select another record from the vinyl collection that took up half the living room.

‘It’s good to have you back,’ he said one night a few weeks after her return as they lay in easy silence, head-to-toe on the sofa. When she looked up and saw him there, splayed across a cushion in his characteristic state of repose, she smiled. In that moment she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

At King Charles Street, the pace of life provided the perfect contrast to time with Tom. In her absence, new faces had emerged as old ones moved on and out into different departments, pursuing other careers or scattering themselves in bureaus across the world.

Emsworth, on the rare occasions when he was actually in the office, seemed more distracted than usual, troubled by something, though she could hardly imagine who or what, given that he seemed to come and go as he pleased, apparently answerable to no one.