‘I panicked. I wanted to go to her but … I just couldn’t. And then I looked up and I could just see her hand. On the pavement across the street, that’s all I could see of her, her fingers pointing out from behind a parked car. It was so still. She wasn’t moving. I just … I should have gone to her, I should have picked up my phone and called the ambulance, but I couldn’t move. I just lay there on the ground and I put my hands over my ears. If I had called for an ambulance, she might have lived. They never caught him, the guy who hit her.’

With those words, it’s as if I’ve been pulled out of a trance. When I look up at Maureen, I wipe at my cheeks with my sleeve. ‘Sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I—’

‘It’s OK.’ Her voice is reassuring and I sit up straighter in my chair.

‘No, it’s not, you really don’t need this.’

‘I know why,’ Maureen says as I push back my chair. ‘I understand.’ She nods, holding my eyes with hers, gesturing at me to stay seated. ‘I understand why it’s so important to you, this girl, the one on the Heath.’

There is a pause and then I nod urgently. ‘I know it’s stupid, I know it’s not going to change anything …’

Maureen shrugs. ‘No, it won’t. It won’t change what happened to your friend, but if it helps you somehow – if it’s something you need to do …’

‘It is. Something happened, you know? I saw it. I felt it. And maybe this time I can do something to help.’

Finally she pushes back her chair, her knees cracking as she stands. ‘We’ve all got our reasons, love,’ she says, moving slowly towards the door, gently ushering me along with her.

‘Now, do you need to stay or—’

‘No, I’ll be fine at home.’

‘OK. Now I don’t know how much help they’ll be, I can’t promise anything, but I’ll speak to my girls. I’ll have a word.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, my voice weak from the emotional exertion.

Nodding, Maureen smiles. ‘Now go and get some sleep. I’ll call, soon as I hear anything.’

Chapter 47

Gabriela

Tom had stormed out of the house after their row. When he returned around two in the morning the smell of alcohol slowly enveloped the bedroom. Gabriela lay still, careful not to alert him to the fact that she was awake, and yet part of her, however wary, was desperate to reach out and touch him.