Back A Double Life
Chapters (93)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Chapter 10
  15. Chapter 11
  16. Chapter 12
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Chapter 22
  27. Chapter 23
  28. Chapter 24
  29. Chapter 25
  30. Chapter 26
  31. Chapter 27
  32. Chapter 28
  33. Chapter 29
  34. Chapter 30
  35. Chapter 31
  36. Chapter 32
  37. Chapter 33
  38. Chapter 34
  39. Chapter 35
  40. Chapter 36
  41. Chapter 37
  42. Chapter 38
  43. Chapter 39
  44. Chapter 40
  45. Chapter 41
  46. Chapter 42
  47. Chapter 43
  48. Chapter 44
  49. Chapter 45
  50. Chapter 46
  51. Chapter 47
  52. Chapter 48
  53. Chapter 49
  54. Chapter 50
  55. Chapter 51
  56. Chapter 52
  57. Chapter 53
  58. Chapter 54
  59. Chapter 55
  60. Chapter 56
  61. Chapter 57
  62. Chapter 58
  63. Chapter 59
  64. Chapter 60
  65. Chapter 61
  66. Chapter 62
  67. Chapter 63
  68. Chapter 64
  69. Chapter 65
  70. Chapter 66
  71. Chapter 67
  72. Chapter 68
  73. Chapter 69
  74. Chapter 70
  75. Chapter 71
  76. Chapter 72
  77. Chapter 73
  78. Chapter 74
  79. Chapter 75
  80. Chapter 76
  81. Chapter 77
  82. Chapter 78
  83. Chapter 79
  84. Chapter 80
  85. Chapter 81
  86. Chapter 82
  87. Chapter 83
  88. Chapter 84
  89. Chapter 85
  90. Acknowledgements
  91. About the Author
  92. Also by Charlotte Philby
  93. About the Publisher

The conclusion, for her, was that it fitted perfectly. There was a lot to be desired about some aspects of the trip, but the possibility of what this life represented: the potential for travel, for learning, the opportunity her role at the FCO afforded her to try out different lives under the guise of someone who knew what they were doing, of someone who was supposed to be there … Once she had a taste of that, she knew she could never give it up.

Tom recognised the change in her, the new-found grown-up self-assuredness, as she immersed herself in London life for the brief time that she was there. And he wasn’t the only one. On Christmas Eve Saoirse and her partner Jim came over for drinks and a blissfully unfestive kebab. They had recently exchanged Kentish Town for a battered two-bed on Wilton Way near London Fields, since rents were still relatively affordable in Hackney.

Like most of Gabriela’s friends who’d grown up in this now boujie pocket of North London – those whose parents hadn’t conveniently died when they were in their twenties – Saoirse had left the area not long after coming back from university, in her case in Leeds.

‘You seem different,’ Saoirse said as the four of them sat around the kitchen table, necking cheap wine. Jim was an old university friend of Tom’s and Gabriela had known within minutes of meeting him that he and Saoirse would either hate each other or fall head over heels in love. As she predicted, when they met there was an energy between them that was so alive she would find herself just watching them and feeling her jaw tense with envy.

‘Different how?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Saoirse smiled, as if trying to work something out. ‘Different in a good way. Grown up.’

Gabriela raised her eyebrows. ‘Fancy …’

‘Very fancy,’ Saoirse said and then she paused. ‘Speaking of which …’ She turned to Jim. ‘We’re getting married …’

Gabriela squealed with genuine delight, falling across the table to hug them both. ‘That’s amazing, and really weird, ’cause surely you’re still only twelve, so how could you be getting married?’

‘Great news, guys,’ Tom said, lifting his glass. He tried to meet Gabriela’s eye and she looked away.

When he tried to talk to her in bed later that night, she pretended to be asleep.

It was strange being back in London, for those couple of weeks.

Aside from occasional after-work drinks with colleagues from the embassy, in Moscow she had taken to spending weekends alone, relishing the visits to the market outside the city, flicking through old Soviet memorabilia, or trips to one of several new galleries which were opening across town. There, even just a walk around the old hotels or shopping malls felt like an exotic experience. Though the work itself, in Moscow, was less obviously rewarding.