Chapters (93)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Prologue
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Chapter 18
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Chapter 22
- Chapter 23
- Chapter 24
- Chapter 25
- Chapter 26
- Chapter 27
- Chapter 28
- Chapter 29
- Chapter 30
- Chapter 31
- Chapter 32
- Chapter 33
- Chapter 34
- Chapter 35
- Chapter 36
- Chapter 37
- Chapter 38
- Chapter 39
- Chapter 40
- Chapter 41
- Chapter 42
- Chapter 43
- Chapter 44
- Chapter 45
- Chapter 46
- Chapter 47
- Chapter 48
- Chapter 49
- Chapter 50
- Chapter 51
- Chapter 52
- Chapter 53
- Chapter 54
- Chapter 55
- Chapter 56
- Chapter 57
- Chapter 58
- Chapter 59
- Chapter 60
- Chapter 61
- Chapter 62
- Chapter 63
- Chapter 64
- Chapter 65
- Chapter 66
- Chapter 67
- Chapter 68
- Chapter 69
- Chapter 70
- Chapter 71
- Chapter 72
- Chapter 73
- Chapter 74
- Chapter 75
- Chapter 76
- Chapter 77
- Chapter 78
- Chapter 79
- Chapter 80
- Chapter 81
- Chapter 82
- Chapter 83
- Chapter 84
- Chapter 85
- Acknowledgements
- About the Author
- Also by Charlotte Philby
- About the Publisher
The conclusion, for her, was that it fitted perfectly. There was a lot to be desired about some aspects of the trip, but the possibility of what this life represented: the potential for travel, for learning, the opportunity her role at the FCO afforded her to try out different lives under the guise of someone who knew what they were doing, of someone who was supposed to be there … Once she had a taste of that, she knew she could never give it up.
Tom recognised the change in her, the new-found grown-up self-assuredness, as she immersed herself in London life for the brief time that she was there. And he wasn’t the only one. On Christmas Eve Saoirse and her partner Jim came over for drinks and a blissfully unfestive kebab. They had recently exchanged Kentish Town for a battered two-bed on Wilton Way near London Fields, since rents were still relatively affordable in Hackney.
Like most of Gabriela’s friends who’d grown up in this now boujie pocket of North London – those whose parents hadn’t conveniently died when they were in their twenties – Saoirse had left the area not long after coming back from university, in her case in Leeds.
‘You seem different,’ Saoirse said as the four of them sat around the kitchen table, necking cheap wine. Jim was an old university friend of Tom’s and Gabriela had known within minutes of meeting him that he and Saoirse would either hate each other or fall head over heels in love. As she predicted, when they met there was an energy between them that was so alive she would find herself just watching them and feeling her jaw tense with envy.
‘Different how?’ she asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Saoirse smiled, as if trying to work something out. ‘Different in a good way. Grown up.’
Gabriela raised her eyebrows. ‘Fancy …’
‘Very fancy,’ Saoirse said and then she paused. ‘Speaking of which …’ She turned to Jim. ‘We’re getting married …’
Gabriela squealed with genuine delight, falling across the table to hug them both. ‘That’s amazing, and really weird, ’cause surely you’re still only twelve, so how could you be getting married?’
‘Great news, guys,’ Tom said, lifting his glass. He tried to meet Gabriela’s eye and she looked away.
When he tried to talk to her in bed later that night, she pretended to be asleep.
It was strange being back in London, for those couple of weeks.
Aside from occasional after-work drinks with colleagues from the embassy, in Moscow she had taken to spending weekends alone, relishing the visits to the market outside the city, flicking through old Soviet memorabilia, or trips to one of several new galleries which were opening across town. There, even just a walk around the old hotels or shopping malls felt like an exotic experience. Though the work itself, in Moscow, was less obviously rewarding.