‘I was going through a shitty break-up. Something happened and it all got really nasty and I had to move out of his place. It was a weird time, really dark, and I had nowhere else to go. My parents were living in another country and I was making fuck-all money, and Jess had a place in Parliament Hill and she said I could stay there with her for a while. She worked for this awful production company which was full of total cunts. She was too good for it, she was the smartest person I’ve ever met. Anyway, she was away a lot at the weekends and I was working at the paper in the week and then I guess I was just bored and lonely, and I met this guy …’ I catch my breath. ‘He was awful, I mean I’m not even sure where I found him. Anyway, Jess hated him. She told me she didn’t want him staying at the house … I hadn’t seen him for a while, then one night I went out and he was there and then he came back …’

As I think about it now, my fingers pull at my sleeve and I close my eyes against the pain.

I sniff hard, clearing my throat. ‘Basically, he had a load of pills, and by the time Jess came back we were both completely wasted. She went skits, properly mental. This guy, she hated him, and she had work the next day and I don’t know, I guess the house was in a state, and we had this fight. I don’t remember what I was saying. I was just so angry, I don’t even know why. I’d just fucked everything up and the last thing I wanted to hear was my best friend telling me I’d fucked everything up.’

When I look up I am almost surprised to find Maureen looking back at me. Her face is blank, giving nothing away, and so I carry on.

‘I was horrible to her, nasty. I told her that she didn’t really care about me, that she was just trying to make herself feel better by being nice to me; I told her … Oh fuck, I don’t even want to think what I said. The point is I was a bitch, but I didn’t mean it. She was my best friend, I worshipped her. I was just …’

Maureen pulls out another cigarette, lights it and hands it to me.

I take a long drag and look out towards the window. By now the light outside has started to fade, the room lit only by the glow of a streetlamp dashed with light rain.