“Shut up.” Joe threw a boxing glove at the offending clanmate. “So what happened, Feng? Seemed like you were such a stan for China, always talking about the evils of ‘the West.’ ” Joe air-quoted the last two words for full emphasis.

“Oh, I still think you guys are lazy.” Feng laughed. “And I still love China.” Feng bit his lip. “Just maybe not the party that runs it.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“What happened?” asked Joe.

Feng swallowed. He leaned closer to the pair huddled beside him. “Alright, but you guys can’t tell anyone. Promise?”

Joe and the Behemoth nodded quickly.

“So…,” Feng began, scanning the room as though he might yet decide not to spill his guts, “I left because my family thinks I’ll be disappeared.”

“What do you mean ‘disappeared’?” asked the Behemoth.

“Bro!” exclaimed Joe. “I saw this in a forum. It means abducted by the government. Like kidnapped. That right, Feng?”

Feng nodded.

“What for?”

“For being part of Clan:LESS, I guess.”

“No way.” Joe’s face matched that of a child opening the world’s greatest Christmas present. “Abducted by the government for being part of Clan:LESS. That’s so awesome!”

Feng looked around the dojo, worried Joe’s excitement would attract eavesdroppers. “Relax, buddy. It’s not cool at all.”

“So what happened?” Joe asked breathlessly.

“I got a visit from neighborhood officials with the party.” Feng scanned his friends and judged their reactions as underwhelming. “They made me sign this.” He opened a screenshot in midair, showing a statement with his signature visible at the bottom. “It says I won’t do a bunch of things, including visit the Floraverse anymore, and it lists all my failings.”

“Must be a long list.” The Behemoth giggled. “Let me see.” He screenshotted the document and pinch-zoomed to view it closely. “A long list of failings for real: subversive activities, terrorist sympathizer, terrible at grappling…”

“What?” Feng asked, surprised.

“…still sleeps with the nightlight on…”

“Shut up.”

“So you left China for us,” Joe exclaimed. “You’re a soldier for real.”

“Didn’t have much choice. Next step would’ve meant waking up in a strange room handcuffed to a bed and forced to learn songs praising the party…” Feng sighed. “Uncle didn’t want that, so next thing you know I’m on a plane to Turkey, changed planes there and now I’m on one headed across the Atlantic.”

“Well, you know what Alpha always says—N.C.B.U.—nothing comes between us,” the Behemoth said. “And ‘bros first.’ So, let us know if you need any help.”

“No doubt,” Joe added.