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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Well, if ya don't have a clue about your lifeplan, what are you doing this summer?

You got a job as an intern! Cool beans. Where? An art gallery in New York! Faw-faw! What gallery?

Bonwyck Gallery? Weird! Did they expand their program? I thought it was just for teens. No, I'm sure I'm wrong.

Speaking of art, did you hear? Tyler got accepted to RISD for grad school. Total free ride because they thought his work was "the best" and "showed the most promise" of all this year's graduates.

He hasn't told you? He probably didn't want to have you get upset and repeat all that interior drama that happened at his Senior Show. Anyway, whatever. God, after college, I don't know what I'm doing either (Hello! Where is that pill? Ha!). But I did get this really weird call from some animated TV show that is starting up? It's got this really boring name, The Simpsons? I don't know it's probably dumb, but we'll see. "The Simpsons." So lame, right? Whatever. The Simpsons the Simpsons the Simpsons. How boring, sorry to bring it up.

The Simpsons . . .

Well, anyway, they offered me a job pretty much the day after graduation, so I won't be getting hammered drunk like you and your other "constant party" friends will be doing tonight. I have so much to do and I have to be clearheaded so that I can get up early, have Honors brunch, say bye to Sam and his parents (they are so, so nice; his dad is like the Mayor of Santa Cruz and his mom is the Director of Development of Universal, so that's cool), so I have to say good-bye to them, open my special ceremonial present of keys from my family (we have this dumb Nantucket beach house heirloom tradition when someone graduates, it's totally psychotic), go to this little Dave Matthews Band unannounced concert, and then pack and get on a plane and—

Oh, yeah. He's playing. It's an industry thing but I can . . . probably . . . get you in. It's weird how I know him. I mean, that time he just basically saw me in the crowd and pulled me onstage in a total Bruce/Courtney moment was so long ago, right? He just felt the connection. I love things like that. It makes me have faith, you know, that people really do see your integrity through the complications of life. So now we keep in touch and he just showers me with concert tickets still even though we never see each other because he is on the road and all. Why don't you meet me outside of the F Level of the Amphitheater, the D-23 entrance? You should just get there and wait. I'll be meeting Sam and a bunch of people to hand out tickets. If I'm not there, we'll just try to meet up later. OK? God, sometimes I wish phones were affordably portable or something so we could call each other!