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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003

Hello? I saw you from down the block! I wasn't sure if it was you or not because it looked like you were wearing terry-cloth and I couldn't believe that you would ever wear terry-cloth! But then I discover it IS you! How wild! I can't believe how crazy it is to run into you! I love your shirt! How funny!

So this is where you moved. It's a sketchy street but who cares, right? Everyone has said there is such good cheap stuff being sold around this area, so I just came because I need to fill up a few rooms in my beach house. Is—

Cough cough . . . Whooo! That bus was so loud and polluting. I feel sorry for the people on this block.

You live on this block? Oh that building right there? The one with the sort of deep cracks in the foundation? Wow it looks so intimidating from here with the charred facade and scratched wooden doorway. Which is your window? That one? That one window? It's in the basement. Hey from here it looks like your place is cozy. Cute. Cute 'n' cozy. Perfect for you. Sort of frenchy and disheveled. It fits your granola style. Well roll up your sleeves—looks like you have a LOT of work to do, huh? But I bet you are renting it for a song, right? Can I ask how much?

For THIS? Well in a way I guess that makes sense. I read in Time Out that this whole area is right on the brink of becoming more of a community and not a nest of prostitution and crystal meth labs . . . I just didn't know that prices inflated BEFORE a neighborhood was hip. Ugh, I forgot how crazy it is to rent and not own your place. My tenants probably feel tense like you do. But it's

so cool you have your own place now. After years of roommates. It's like you are finally adult. A rite of passage at thirty-five! I mean thirty-six!

So what's fer sale? O h wow. I really like these bathroom window curtains in goofy prints . . . oh I see, they're shorts. Oh man, one of those Ikea standing lamps. Wow that is almost cool again it's so uncool. No wonder you're unloading it. Is anyone even buying it?

A set of knives, some dishware you probably bought upstate, some old ironic board games from the seventies. Look at these shirts! They are from your kooky-baby tee-club-kid phase, right? Ha! Wow, a million trillion years ago. And your blue baggy painter's pants from college. Wow, I can't believe you held on to this for so long.

So how's work?

Oh wow. That's terrible. Yeah, actually not to freak you out but I kind of heard about what happened.