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Back The Underminer
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

You what? You don't have one?! No, actually it IS important. I mean you must have read the Burning Manual, right? That listed all the crucial items to bring? You didn't read it? You never GOT it?! Wow. OK, it's OK. Just start drinking now. Here, just start drinking from this jug.

Oooh. You hear that? It's the wind. Yeah. Looks like a major dust storm is coming. One of those hideous, evil dust storms that gets in your eyes and can blind you. So get your goggles ready.

You didn't bring those either? OH. Um . . . OK, no worries. Here . . . um, use this rag. That will kind of work. It'll be a challenge, but you'll be fine.

Where are you staying? Near the "Magic Caterpillar" tent? Oh those guys are so weird. But fun. Just don't have any of their mushroom stew! Ha ha!

You did? Well as long as you aren't on some radical personality pill like Zoloft or Askalar . . .

You—you are?

You STILL are?

You really got us in good this time, didn't you?

Hey, Talitha? Talitha? Could you, um, come here for a second? I'm going to need some help. My friend is going to be critically high in a matter of seconds.

Hello? Hello? OK, now just sit down right here. How many fingers am I holding up? Hello? OK, you'll be fine, you'll be fine. I know. No, of course I'm sure you're fine. No of course you can stand and see, but let's just sit down for a while, OK? Let's just sitty-sitty.

Hm? Hi Chloe! Oh my God I would love to go to the drum circle right now but this sort of friend of mine is freaking out a little. Just having a hard time. Yeah, first time. And also on Askalar. Yeah. Probably totally dehydrated too.

Do you want some tea? OK . . . let's get you some nice ginger tea. You're cool, you're cool. . . No I know you think you're fine . . . But we're just gonna sit here and breathe, OK?

Talitha, can you ask Jaweh to sound the community alert gong? And do you know where that neurologist from Berkeley is?

Oh wow. Do you see that far-off darkness? Do you hear that crackling? It's the dust storm. It's coming. Oh my God. This is a bad one. I've never seen the desert sky so angry. It's like a horizon of chewing locusts.