Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

BOB: I have my days. Sometimes, I feel like the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Except for the late Lou Gehrig.

JENNIFER: Sweetie.

BOB: That’s a nice word. You said it nice too.

JENNIFER: Thank you. (To Pony and John) I’m really glad you guys are over there. That house used to be empty.

PONY: It looked like Elliot was trying to crawl away, like, crawl into the kitchen or something.

BOB (To John): You fix radios, right?

JOHN: No.

BOB: Well then try and fix this one. (He hands over an old, small portable radio) It worked the other day.

JENNIFER: I love listening to the radio. You know when you get some little baseball game, a thousand miles away, or the lonely deranged nighttime guy? It just seems like people.

BOB (To John): You can have that, if you want. I haven’t heard that owl in a long time.

PONY: Most gods were animals first.

JOHN: I wish there was less words in English.

PONY (To Jennifer and Bob): That’s his new thing. How many words there are.

BOB: There’s a lot.

JENNIFER: I think it’s a good amount.

JOHN: The other night, I was taking out the garbage— see, right there, how many is that? I’m already totally in over my head. But, I was wondering, my life, is it a billion little words, or, is it just one?

PONY: It’s just one. Life. Your life.

JOHN: Yeah, maybe. It seems like more. I always think I’m hearing something. But it’s like something in my blood. Something’s flowing through me. And I was wondering, “What?” Which is scary.

BOB: That is scary. (Jennifer rubs his arm or shoulder)

JOHN: So I’m standing there, scared, and leaning on the garbage can and, I thought, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m flowing through me. And I should just kind of go with it.

JENNIFER: You should. Something is flowing through us. I like that.

JOHN: Me too. And then I got so sick. Remember how sick I got?

PONY: Yeah. It was from an expired yogurt. (Brief pause) Oh, do you guys recycle?

BOB: We try to. You can buy different-colored trash cans. (Very brief pause. To John) I don’t mean to just glide over what you said. I hear you. Go easy, friend. Just do what I do.

JOHN: What do you do?

BOB (To Jennifer): I don’t know. What do I do?

JENNIFER: He does a lot. (To Bob) You do a lot. I should call Hannah, tomorrow.

BOB: Pony, you’re a theologian, let me ask you, do I seem like someone who his middle name is Arthur?

PONY: If it was something else, I’d believe that, too. That’s not really theology, though.

BOB: This is great.

JENNIFER: Yeah? What is?