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Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

BOB: I don’t know— everything. Marriage. The whole life cycle. Whatever John was saying. Just, everything. Boy, I’m really tired. That doesn’t affect my point that I’m making, though.

JENNIFER: That everything is great? I think it’s a little more complicated than that.

BOB: Aww, Jen. May I call you Jen?

JENNIFER: Sure. Robert.

BOB: You’re the best. Life’s the best.

JENNIFER: You’re in a mood, aren’t you.

BOB: Yes, I am. I want to take three of these things, next time.

JOHN (Brief pause. Little crackles and static from the radio): There we go. (Some different stations, and then an old kind of sad “surf music” song. It plays very quietly) How’s that? It doesn’t go very loud.

JENNIFER: That’s perfect.

PONY: John can fix anything. (She moves closer and puts her arm around him)

JOHN: I just sort of spun the batteries around. I can’t fix anything.

(The owl hoots in the distance.)

BOB: I was just thinking about that owl.

JENNIFER: No, you said it. You said it out loud.

BOB: I did? (He smiles) I have magical powers.

JOHN: I wonder if Hannah heard whatever he yelled.

JENNIFER: I don’t think she did. From the look of her. Poor thing.

PONY: Yeah. (To John) Say one of your things.

JOHN: Okay. If you took the night, if you somehow took all the darkness of the night, and then, like, if you have the ocean, or, if you took all the people— (Brief pause) Wow, this is a hard one.

PONY: You’re tired. You can finish it later. (Very brief pause. John is shivering) Are you cold?

JOHN: I’m all right. (Pony rubs his arm or shoulder) That feels good.

JENNIFER (Brief pause. Looking up): It’s such a beautiful night. The sky is perfect.

JOHN: Yeah. That’s my whole contribution. Yeah.

JENNIFER: No, it’s good. It’s very positive.

JOHN: It’s funny—nature. It’s just a couple different rules. Laws, I guess.

PONY: I want to be a more outdoorsy person.

BOB: I don’t think anything good is going to happen to us. But, you know, what are you going to do. (Reaches into his pocket) I forgot, I grabbed some mints at the restaurant. (He gives one to Jennifer, puts one in his mouth) I like mints. Mint.

END

PRODUCTION NOTES FROM THE PLAYWRIGHT