BooksBarbecue
Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

PONY (Brief pause): John loves listening. He concentrates so hard, it’s like he’s having migraines. The other night, I was talking about us being old and, he was listening so much, he started crying. (Very brief pause) My mother was in the hospital the whole time I was little. That was just, yuck, no thank you.

BOB: I hate hospitals. The smell, the light. You have to leave the car way out in Kingdom Come.

PONY: My aunt got sick from some infection she got from someone in a waiting room. I thought the hospital was, like, some terrible science-fiction thing. The air is gross, too. I know I have it all wrong. I’m done.

BOB: I don’t think you have it all wrong.

PONY: I had a number of boyfriends in high school.

BOB: What’s “a number”? You had a lot of boyfriends?

PONY: What is this, Ask Personal Questions of the Female Neighbor Night?

BOB: Okay.

PONY: Yeah, exactly. “Okay.” That part’s over.

BOB: Fine.

PONY: Why are you looking at me like that?

BOB: I’m just sitting here.

PONY: Nobody’s ever just sitting here. That’s one thing I know.

BOB: Since you don’t need anything, I guess I’ll go in.

PONY: No, stay. I like your voice. But don’t touch me or say anything.

(Lights down, or cross-fade to next scene.)

Scene 7

Scene 7

Night. Pony and John’s kitchen. The now-repaired lamp is lit and sitting on the table. John is sitting, a little lost in a haze. Jennifer stands, nearby, or perhaps they have entered together in the transition. Pause.

JOHN: How long have you been standing there?

JENNIFER: We walked in, together, from the front yard.

JOHN: That’s right.

JENNIFER: Are you okay?

JOHN: Definitely. I mean, I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, but, I think I’m all right. Although, I’m not a marriage counselor or a beautician, but, yeah, I’m hanging in there.

JENNIFER: You had a seizure?

JOHN: No. Incorrect. You are incorrect, sir. Madam. (He stares off and slowly straightens his collar or neatens his hair)

JENNIFER: Why don’t we go to the emergency room, just to make sure.

JOHN: I’ve never seen you at night, except that first time. And another couple times when I was looking over there.

JENNIFER: Pony came over.

JOHN: I asked her to go get you. I didn’t want her to see me, if things got ugly.

JENNIFER: What do you mean, ugly?

JOHN: There’s a few scenarios. Did you see my stupid fireworks?

JENNIFER: They were sweet. She said you were celebrating.

JOHN: Yeah, I guess that’s the word. (He blinks a few times. Closes his eyes for a second)

JENNIFER: Is this lamp bothering you?

JOHN: No, come on, I love this lamp.