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Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

JENNIFER: I had a cousin, my age.

JOHN: I was just wondering. (He leans his head on her shoulder, or holds her, somehow, clumsily)

JENNIFER: Is that how you think of me, as a sister?

JOHN: I never had a sister.

JENNIFER: Oh.

JOHN: That’s probably what I would’ve said there, too. “Oh.”

JENNIFER: “Oh.”

JOHN: Do you know any good lullabies?

JENNIFER: Everything’s going to be all right.

JOHN (Gently moves his head off her shoulder or lets her go): No one ever said that to me.

JENNIFER: I just did.

JOHN: Right. But I mean before. When it might’ve been more true.

(Lights down.)

Scene 8

Scene 8

Darkness. Night sounds. John and Pony’s backyard and porch. Bob is caught in a hard cold light that comes on, abruptly. It’s a floodlight, activated by a motion detector. Bob stands still. The light goes off. A few seconds pass. The light comes on again: Bob has moved a few feet closer to the sliding glass door. Bob stands still and in a few seconds the light goes off. A few seconds pass. The light comes on again: Bob is looking into one of the glass doors and John is standing at the other.

JOHN: Morning.

BOB: It’s the middle of the night.

JOHN: Is that why you’re sneaking around my house in the dark, to correct me?

BOB: No. I was just—

JOHN: What? Testing the motion detector on the floodlight?

BOB: No. I was wondering if you were up.

JOHN: Do you make sure we’re asleep, too?

BOB: I’m not doing anything wrong.

JOHN: I know. (Brief pause) Do you want a drink?

BOB: Maybe . . . if you’re having one.

JOHN: We don’t have anything. Do you still have that bottle of wine we gave you?

BOB: Yeah, I could go grab that.

JOHN: Nah, forget it.

BOB: No, it’s no problem.

JOHN: No, don’t worry about it, just drop it off tomorrow. Are you looking for Pony?

BOB: What?

JOHN: Did you just say “what?” to buy yourself a little extra time?

BOB: No. (Brief pause) Sounds like you might’ve been dehydrated, the other night. That’s what Jennifer said.

JOHN: Yeah.

BOB: But, you’re all right? (John shrugs) When Jennifer came over here, did something happen?

JOHN: Something always happens. That’s the beauty of night. It’s the beauty of time itself, John.

BOB: Your name is John.

JOHN: What’s your point?

BOB: You just called me John.

JOHN: You knew who I meant.

BOB: So, are you going to tell me?

JOHN: Do you really care?

BOB: I’m standing here, aren’t I.