I tried to make sympathetic noises, which was a tricky thing to do when I’d just then realised that Jeremy absolutely was not the six-two build he promised women online he was. ‘I think everyone lies a tiny bit on these things, don’t they?’ We shuffled into a booth at the back of the shop. Although to call the place just a coffee shop was a gross disservice to the proprietors who’d tried to make it coffee-shop-meets-sexy with leather seats and low-lit lighting. ‘I’ve never been here before,’ I said, taking another look round.

‘I bring all my dates here.’

I searched his face to see whether he was joking but there were no signs of it. ‘All of us?’

‘Mm, not true actually. If the woman suggests going somewhere else, I’ll go in for it. But if I’ve got a free hand, we’ll come here.’ He took a glance around, then, but soon looked back at me. ‘It’s good to have a safe space where you know the coffee will be good even if the company isn’t, am I right? Although I do realise I’m making myself sound like I date a lot which I probably don’t, not really.’

‘Okay.’ I desperately wanted to steer the topic away from dating. Desperately. But—

‘You really are beautiful, you know? You have the prettiest face.’ The compliment landed with a thud between us and I physically distanced myself from him; suddenly the table space wasn’t enough. ‘I know looks aren’t everything but …’ Dear God, Jeremy, stop talking. ‘… don’t you think?’ I didn’t think anything because by then I’d totally zoned out, but I nodded all the same. ‘Utter ugly Bettys some of them.’

I forced a laugh. ‘I have a best friend called Betty and she hates that expression.’

He stared back blankly. Then, as though remembering why we were there, he asked, ‘Coffee? What’ll it be, flat white? Lemme guess, some kind of non-dairy milk, too?’ Jeremy narrowed his eyes and pulled his head back in an expression of appraisal. I wondered whether he’d mark me with a red dot in the corner or a sticker saying SOLD if he liked me enough. ‘Oat milk? Flat white with oat milk, right?’

Wrong. ‘Perfect.’