Back The Best of Simple Save as PDF
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“You know not,” said Simple. “They Jim Crow me and lynch me any time they want to. Suppose I was to do unto them as they does unto me? Suppose I was to lynch and Jim Crow white folks, where would I be? Huh?”

“In jail.”

“You can bet your boots I would! But these are Christian white folks that does such things to me. At least, they call themselves Christians in my home. They got more churches down South than they got up North. They read more Bibles and sing more hymns. I hope when Christ comes back, He comes back down South. My folks need Him down there to tell them Ku Kluxers where to head in. But I’ll bet you if Christ does come back, not only in the South but all over America, there would be such another running and shutting and slamming of white folks’ doors in His face as you never saw! And I’ll bet the Southerners couldn’t get inside their Jim Crow churches fast enough to lock the gates and keep Christ out. Christ said, ‘Such as ye do unto the least of these, ye do it unto me.’ And Christ knows what these white folks have been doing to old colored me all these years.”

“Of course, He knows,” I said. “When Christ was here on earth, He fought for the poor and the oppressed. But some people called Him an agitator. They cursed Him and reviled Him and sent soldiers to lock Him up. They killed Him on the cross.”

“At Calvary,” said Simple, “way back in B.C. I know the Bible, too. My Aunt Lucy read it to me. She read how He drove the money-changers out of the Temple. Also how He changed the loaves and fishes into many and fed the poor—which made the rulers in their high places mad because they didn’t want the poor to eat. Well, when Christ comes back this time, I hope He comes back mad His own self. I hope He drives the Jim Crowers out of their high places, every living last one of them from Washington to Texas! I hope He smites white folks down!”

“You don’t mean all white folks, do you?”

“No,” said Simple. “I hope He lets Mrs. Roosevelt alone.”

Conversation on the Corner

Conversation On The Corner

IT WAS the summer the young men in Harlem stopped wearing their hair straightened, oiled or conked, and started having it cut short, leaving it natural, standing up about an inch or two in front in a kind of brush. When Simple took off his hat to fan his brow, I saw by the light of the neon sign outside the Wishing Well Bar that he had gotten a new haircut.

“What happened to your head?” I asked.

“Cut short,” said Simple. “My baby likes to run her fingers through it. This gives her a better chance.”