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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“Well, pal, that weakened me—that word freedom! Don’t you know I let that old girl beg me out of five dollars—which I went home and borrowed from Joyce’s budget, which never balances nohow, so I don’t reckon freedom can throw it off much more than it always is. Minnie is a refugee from the South. America has always been good to refugees. Since Minnie has come to America, New York, Harlem, U.S.A., I just had to lend that girl five dollars. If I never get it back, I have made my contribution to freedom—freedom to be integrated anywhere, at any time, drunk or sober—which really ain’t no hype.”

Radioactive Red Caps

Radioactive Red Caps

“HOW wonderful,” I said, “that Negroes today are being rapidly integrated into every phase of American life from the Army and Navy to schools to industries—advancing, advancing!”

“I have not advanced one step,” said Simple. “Still the same old job, same old salary, same old kitchenette, same old Harlem and the same old color.”

“You are just one individual,” I said. “I am speaking of our race in general. Look how many colleges have opened up to Negroes in the last ten years. Look at the change in restrictive covenants. You can live anywhere.”

“You mean try to live anywhere.”

“Look at the way you can ride unsegregated in interstate travel.”

“And get throwed off the bus.”

“Look at the ever greater number of Negroes in high places.”

“Name me one making an atom bomb.”

“That would be top-secret information,” I said, “even if I knew. Anyway, you are arguing from supposition, not knowledge. How do you know what our top Negro scientists are doing?”

“I don’t,” said Simple. “But I bet if one was making an atom bomb, they would have his picture on the cover of Jet every other week like Eartha Kitt, just to make Negroes think the atom bomb is an integrated bomb. Then, next thing you know, some old Southern senator would up and move to have that Negro investigated for being subversive, because he would be mad that a Negro ever got anywhere near an atom bomb. Then that Negro would be removed from his job like Miss Annie Lee Moss, and have to hire a lawyer to get halfway back. Then they would put that whitewashed Negro to making plain little old-time ordinary bombs that can only kill a few folks at a time. You know and I know, they don’t want no Negroes nowhere near no bomb that can kill a whole state full of folks like an atom bomb can. Just think what would happen to Mississippi. Wow!”

“Your thinking borders on the subversive,” I warned. “Do you want to fight the Civil War over again?”