Back The Best of Simple
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“As much as you hang out on this corner,” I said, “I don’t see when she has much of a chance.”

“You know Joyce is a working woman,” said Simple, “also decent. She won’t come to see me, so I goes to see her early. I already paid my nightly call.”

“I understand that you work also and it’s midnight now. When do you sleep?”

“In between times,” Simple answered, lighting a butt and taking a long draw. “Sleep don’t worry me. I just hate to go back to my little old furnished room alone. How about you? What’re you doing up so late?”

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“Observing life for literary purposes. Gathering material, contemplating how people play so desperately when the stakes are so little.”

“What do you mean by all that language?” asked Simple.

“I mean there are very few people of substance out late at night—mostly hustlers. And all the hustlers around here hustle for such small change.”

“They will not hustle off of me,” said Simple. “No, sir! Somebody is always trying to take disadvantage of me. The other night I went to a poker game and lost Twelve Bucks. They was playing partners, dealing seconds, stripping the deck and palming, so all I could do was lose. I could not win—so I prefer to drink it up.”

“At least you’ll have it in you,” I said. “But why do you imbibe practically every night?”

“Because I like it. I also drink because I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Why don’t you read a book,” I asked, “go to a show or a dance?”

“I do not read a book because I don’t understand books, daddy-o. I do not go to the show because you see nothing but white folks on the screen. And I do not go to a dance because if I do, I get in trouble with Joyce, who is one girl friend I respect.”

“Trouble with Joyce?”

“Yes,” said Simple, leaning on the mailbox so no one could mail a letter. “Joyce thinks every time I put my arms around a woman to dance with her, I am hugging the woman! Now, how can you dance with a woman without hugging her? I see Joyce enough as it is. I drink because I am lonesome.”

“Lonesome? How can you be lonesome when you’ve got plenty of friends, also girl friends?”

“I’m lonesome inside myself.”

“How do you explain that?”

“I do not know,” said Simple, “but that is why I drink. I don’t do nobody no harm, do I? You don’t see me out here hustling off nobody, do you? I am not mugging and cheating and robbing, am I?”

“You’re not.”

“So I don’t see why I shouldn’t take a beer now and then.”

“When did you say?”

“Now,” said Simple.

“You said ‘now and then,’ which is putting it mildly.”