Back The Best of Simple
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“Then that kid took his eyes off me for the first time. He looked down. In fact he looked like he were going to cry.

“‘O.K.,’ he said, ‘I guess I can’t sleep here. And I’m not hungry. So so long, Cousin Jess.’

“He got up and reached for his hat which were on my dresser. In my mind I was going to say, ‘Go on back home.’

“Instead I heard my mouth say, ‘Hey, you, F.D.! Hang your clothes on the back of that chair. You can sleep over there next to the wall—I got to jump out early when the alarm goes off. I’m telling you, though, I’m a man that snores when I’m in my licker, so if you can sleep through—’

“‘If you don’t mind a fellow that kicks in his sleep, Cousin Jess—’

“‘Did you bring your toothbrush?’

“‘No, sir, just the clothes on my back.’

“‘Well, you can get a toothbrush tomorrow.’

“So that’s the way it were. My big old landlady let F. D. in to wait for me when I wasn’t home. Now, what am I gonna do?”

“You say he’s going on eighteen. He’s practically a man, isn’t he? So he’ll know his way around soon.”

“I don’t know my way around yet,” said Simple.

A Million—and One

A Million—And One

“WHEN I first come to Harlem, I remember, some of them folks that was here then are gone now. It’s true, all right, as that man told F. D., ‘They come and they go.’ New York is too much for them. Some can’t make the riffle, just can’t stand the pace. Some go to Sea View, some to Lawnside Cemetery, some to Riker’s Island, and some go back home. Some get off trains back down South where they come from—and stay. They been North, like that man said.

“If I had not told so many lies myself in my time, I would believe F. D. was lying. But I know that sometimes a lie is the truth. And some things that really happen are more like lies than some things that don’t. F. D. couldn’t make up nothing like his story about that ticket that would be that true. So I know it was true. That boy wanted to come to New York so bad he wished himself up on a ticket. Then he had sense enough to believe the ticket was real. It were real. And here he is!