“Almost as many as there are roomers,” agreed Simple. “But it is not good for the dogs, because people work all day and leave the dog by itself. A dog gets lonesome just like a human. He wants to associate with other dogs, but when they take him out, the poor dog is on a leash and cannot run around. They won’t even let him rub noses with another dog, or pick out his own tree. Now, that is not good for a dog. For instant, take Trixie, my landlady’s hound. Spring is coming. I asked her one day last week had Trixie ever been married.

“My landlady says, ‘You mean mated?’

“I says, ‘Yes, I was just trying to be polite.’

“She says, ‘No, indeed! Trixie is a virgin.’

“Now, ain’t that awful! That poor dog never had a chance in life, which worried me. So I said, ‘Next time I take Trixie to the park, I will see that she meets some gentleman dogs.’

“But, man, don’t you know that woman hollered like she had been shot. She says, ‘No, indeed, you won’t! I do not want Trixie all crossed up with no low-breeded curs.’

“I says, ‘You must be prejudiced, madam. Is Trixie got a pedigree?’

“My landlady says, ‘She is pure Spotted Dutch Brindle.’

“Before I thought, I said, ‘Pure mutt.’

“My landlady jumped salty, I mean salty! She reined in Trixie and yelled, ‘You will apologize to this dog, Mr. Semple, else leave my house.’”

“Did you apologize to that dog?”

“I had no alternity. Hard as rooms is to find these days, I do not know which is worse, to be a roomer or a dog.”

Springtime

Springtime

“I WISH that spring would come more often now that it is here,” said Simple.

“How could it come more often?”

“It could if God had made it that-a-way,” said Simple. “I also wish it would last longer.”

“It looks as if you would prefer spring all the year around.”

“Just most of the year,” said Simple. “As it is now, summer comes too soon and winter lasts too long. I do not like real hot weather, neither cold. I like spring.”

“Spring is too changeable for me—sometimes hot, sometimes cold.”

“I am not talking about that kind of spring,” said Simple. “I mean June-time spring when it is just nice and mellow—like a cool drink.”

“Of what?”

“Anything,” said Simple. “Anything that is strong as the sun and cool as the moon. But I am not talking about drinking now. I am talking about spring. Oh, it is wonderful! It is the time when flowers come out of their buds, birds come out of their nests, bees come out of their hives, Negroes come out of their furnished rooms, and butterflies out of their cocoons.”

“Also snakes come out of their holes.”