“I’ve been trying to get Joyce to pay for it,” explained Simple. “Only thing is, Joyce says I will have to marry her first. She says she will not pay for no divorce for another woman unless I am hers beforehand.”

“That would be bigamy,” I said, “married to two women at once.”

“It would be worse than that,” said Simple. “Married to one woman is bad enough. But if I am married to two, it would be hell!”

“Legally it would be bigamy.”

“Is bigamy worse than hell?”

“I have had no experience with either,” I said. “But if you go in for bigamy, you will end up in the arms of justice.”

“Any old arms are better than none,” said Simple.

Simple on Indian Blood

Simple on Indian Blood

“ANYBODY can look at me and tell I am part Indian,” said Simple.

“I see you almost every day,” I said, “and I did not know it until now.”

“I have Indian blood but I do not show it much,” said Simple. “My uncle’s cousin’s great-grandma were a Cherokee. I only shows mine when I lose my temper—then my Indian blood boils. I am quick-tempered just like a Indian. If somebody does something to me, I always fights back. In fact, when I get mad, I am the toughest Negro God’s got. It’s my Indian blood. When I were a young man, I used to play baseball and steal bases just like Jackie. If the empire would rule me out, I would get mad and hit the empire. I had to stop playing. That Indian temper. Nowadays, though, it’s mostly womens that riles me up, especially landladies, waitresses, and girl friends. To tell the truth, I believe in a woman keeping her place. Womens is beside themselves these days. They want to rule the roost.”

“You have old-fashioned ideas about sex,” I said. “In fact, your line of thought is based on outmoded economics.”

“What?”

“In the days when women were dependent upon men for a living, you could be the boss. But now women make their own living. Some of them make more money than you do.”

“True,” said Simple. “During the war they got into that habit. But boss I am still due to be.”

“So you think. But you can’t always put your authority into effect.”

“I can try,” said Simple. “I can say, ‘Do this!’ And if she does something else, I can raise my voice, if not my hand.”

“You can be sued for raising your voice,” I stated, “and arrested for raising your hand.”

“And she can be annihilated when I return from being arrested,” said Simple. “That’s my Indian blood!”

“You must believe in a woman being a squaw.”