Back The Best of Simple Save as PDF
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“The soldier-boy did start to walk, but that leg—he must of hurt them nerve ends when he fell. I imagine it was like a aching tooth and he couldn’t keep from grabbing it. Leaning on them crutches trying to keep his hands from going to that sawed-off leg, but he couldn’t keep from grabbing it. He just stood still. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I thought I would take my handkerchief and wipe some of the wet off the back of his coat.

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“But he said, ‘Get away, man!’

“It was old Dad Martin what owns that little hamburger stand that did the best thing. Dad come out and said, ‘Son, anybody could fall down on this wet night. Is you hurt?’

“‘Naw, Dad, I just slipped, that’s all.’

“‘I mean, did it hurt your feelings?’ Dad said.

“‘No,’ said the soldier.

“‘Then everything’s all right,’ the old man said.

“Just then Cassie hollered, ‘Baby, here’s the cab! Come on!’

“The little woman beat Cassie to him, though. ‘Here’s our taxi, honey! Come on, Charlie, we got a cab.’

“‘You better set between them two women else they liable to tear each other’s eyes out,’ yells that agitating old Negro in the bar door.

“‘Everything’s under control,’ said the soldier, ‘don’t worry.’

“He pulled his own self up in that cab. But the women jumped in after him and there he was between them when the taxi pulled off in the rain—and they was still fussing over who he belonged to. It was funny—still and yet it wasn’t funny either.

“You can laugh at a man when he falls if he’s got two legs, but I couldn’t laugh at him. Couldn’t nobody laugh at that soldier like they would laugh at you and me if we fell down trying to ignore a couple of women. That’s why it was kinder hard for that boy to take. I aimed to order a beer when I got in the bar but my mouth said, ‘A double whiskey!’ It damn sure did, after that boy fell down.”

High Bed

High Bed

“I TOLD you you should take care of yourself,” I said to Simple as I sat down beside his bed. “Running around half high in all this cold weather. If you had taken care of yourself. and not gotten all run down, you would not be here now in this hospital with pneumonia.”

“If I had taken care of myself,” said Simple, “I would not have these pretty nurses taking care of me.”

“Everything has its compensations, I admit. But look at the big hospital bill you will have when you get out.”

“Just let me draw two or three weeks’ pay or hit one number, and I will settle it,” said Simple. “But what worries me is when am I going to get out?”