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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“I am colored,” said Simple. “That man you was talking about were white. He could afford to throw out things. White folks have got plenty of things. Almost all we got is problems, especially the race problem. Everybody’s talking about it. The white folks down where I work is always discussing this race problem. I tell them that white folks can measure their race problem by how far they have come. But Negroes measure ours by how far we have got to go.

“Them white folks are always telling me, ‘Isn’t it wonderful the progress that’s been made amongst your people. Look at Dr. Bunche!’

“All I say is, ‘Look at me.’

“That jars them because I don’t look nothing like Dr. Bunche.

“Then they say, “Well, take Marian Anderson.’

“I say, ‘Take Zarita,’ which shakes them, because when I get through describing all the furnished-room gals in Harlem that never heard of Marian Anderson they change the subject.

“Sometimes they say, for example, ‘Years ago, Mr. Semple, Negroes could not stay at the Waldorf-Astoria.’

“I say, ‘Mr. Semple can’t stay there right now—because Mr. Semple ain’t able.’

“They say, ‘But in your case it’s money, not race.’

“I say, ‘Yes, but if I were not of the colored race, smart as I am, I would have money.’

“That shakes them again so they switch around to something else. ‘Look at Dawson and Powell, those fine men you colored folks have in Congress.’

“‘Yes,’ I say, ‘just two in Washington all by their lonesome. As many Negroes as there are in the U.S.A. there ought to be two dozen colored Congressmen. But half the Negroes in the South is scared to vote.’

“‘The Supreme Court says Negroes have the right to vote.’

“‘Can a Negro take time off from work to go running to the Supreme Court every time the Klan keeps him from voting? We can’t enforce no laws by ourselves.’

“‘You are most pessimistic about things,’ says the white folks.

“‘You would be, too, if you was black,’ I say.

“They mean well, them white folks I work with, but they just don’t know. One white fellow last week says, ‘Here. I was telling my wife about you and she baked some apple strudel and sent you one for a present for you and your girl.’

“I said, ‘Thank you,’ because I knew he meant well. He would also like to do well. Still and yet, he is one of the very ones who will argue with me most about how the Negro problem is improving, beat me down that things is getting so much better, how we got so many white friends in America. Just because he gives me an apple strudel, does he think I can give everybody in Harlem a slice?

“I wish I could. To tell the truth, I really wish we could.”

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