“My week’s beer money went to turn me into chocolate to set on Joyce’s dresser—providing I did not melt before I got out of there, it were so hot.

“The man said, ‘Naturally, you want a retouching job?’

“I said, ‘You know I don’t want to look like I am.’

“‘That will be one Dollar extra,’ he stated. ‘Would you also wish to be tinted?’

“‘Gimme the works,’ I said.

“‘We will add Three,’ he additioned. ‘And if you want more than one print, that will be Two Dollars each, after the negative.’

“‘One is enough,’ I said. ‘I would not want myself setting around on my own dresser. Just one print for the lady, that’s all.’

“‘How about your mother?’ asked the man. ‘Or your sister down home?’

“‘Skip down home,’ I said.

“‘Very well,’ said the man. ‘Now, look pleasant, please! You have observed the sign yonder which is the rule of the company:

IF YOU MOVE,

YOU LOSE.

IF YOU SHAKE—

NO RE-TAKE!

So kindly hold your position.’

“‘As much of my money as you’ve got,’ I said, ‘I will not bat a eye.’

“‘Tilt your head to one side and watch the birdie. Don’t look like you have just et nails.… Smile!… Smile!… Smile!… Brightly, now! That’s right!’

“‘I cannot grin all night,’ I said. ‘Neither can I set like a piece of iron much longer. If you don’t take me as I am, damn!’

“‘No profanity in here, please,’ says the man. ‘Just hold it while I focus.’

“I held.

“He focused.

“I sweated.

“He focused.

“I said, ‘Can’t you see me?’

“He said, ‘Shussh-ss-s! Now, a great big smile!… Hold it!’

“F—L—A—S—H!

“I were blind for the next ten minutes. Seven Dollars and a Half’s worth of me to set on Joyce’s dresser! When I go to get that picture out next week it better be good—also have a frame! As touchous as Joyce is these days, I want her to like that picture.”

By that time we had reached the Woodside. The corner of 141st and Seventh was jumping. King Cole was coming cool off the juke box inside the bar.