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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“I said, ‘I did not mean that you should do wrong, neither did I use the word hustle. I said scuffle, which means, work, work, work.’

“‘That is one thing, Jess, I will do, work. But lend me a little something until I gets a job.’

“‘That’s what the Relief and Welfare is for,’ I says. ‘Many a human has been here in Harlem ten years and has not got a job yet, not since they found the Relief Bureau. If you be’s lucky enough to get a nice Relief Investigator, you can live awhile.’

“‘I want no handouts, city or otherwise,’ says Minnie. ‘Also, I really want no advice just now. What I need tonight is five dollars.’

“‘Cousin,’ I said, ‘if you asked me for the moon, I could reach up in the sky and snatch it down quicker than I could find five dollars. We is poor folks in Harlem.’

“‘Poor it do seem,’ said Minnie. ‘Why I used to could borrow five dollars most anytime down home in Virginia. You-all Negroes up North is real broke.’

“‘Say that again!’ says I. ‘And of all those that are brokest, I am among the most.’

“‘How do you keep your home together?’ asked Minnie.

“‘By the budget,’ says I, ‘and Joyce controls that. I do not know a thing about a budget. In fact, I never saw a budget. My wife has got one—but she always loses it before the week is out. Else she keeps it in a Mason jar. Anyhow, I cannot go in the budget and get nothing out for you, not this late in the week, no way.’

“‘So I must suffer?’ says Minnie.

“‘I fears ’tis so,’ said I.

“‘By coming up North all alone,’ moans Minnie, ‘I have made my bed hard and therefore I got to sleep in it?’

“‘I hope you will not be rest-broken,’ says I.

“‘When just five dollars would take the rocks out from under my pillow?’ pleads Minnie.

“‘Girl, don’t make it hard for me, too! Have mercy on your cousin. Or do you take me to be simple? Do you think you can beg me out of what I ain’t got even if I had it?’

“‘I’ll say no more,’ says Minnie, ‘except that I wanted freedom, which is why I come up North. You know, I do not like Jim Crow. I likes to drink in joints where people is integrated, like this one. Jesse, help me to stay up North in freedom.’