Back The Best of Simple Save as PDF
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“It did look right good, and smelled delicious, steaming pink and rosy as wine. I had not had no sassafras tea since I left Virginia when us kids used to strip the bark and bring it home to Grandma Arcie to dry. Trust Joyce to think up something different.

“‘You know we got to have out health tested before we can get married,’ she said.

“‘I know it,’ I says. ‘Let’s go tomorrow.’ Not really meaning that, but don’t you know that girl took time off from work and went. Me, too. And we’ll have the certifications by the end of this week.”

“This is only March,” I said. “June is a long way off. Aren’t you rushing matters a bit?”

“Them little details we wants to get out of the way,” said Simple. “We is busy people. We got to start looking for an apartment. No more rooming from our wedding night on. Then soon as we can, we gonna start buying a house. Maybe next fall. Do you want to room with us in our house?”

“What my situation next fall will be, I cannot tell. So may I delay my answer?”

“You may, just so you’re standing up there beside me at my wedding. You’re supposed to hand me the rings. Ain’t that what the best man does?”

“I think he does. But I’m rather backward about being your best man. After all, we are only bar acquaintances. A best man is usually a close friend, somebody with whom you grew up or with whom you went to college, somebody you know very well.”

“I did not grow up with nobody, my folks moved so much. I stayed with fifty-eleven relatives in seven different towns. I did not go to college, and I do not know anybody very well but you. I bull-jive around with lots of cats in bars, and I sometimes cast an eye on different womens now and then. I drinks with anybody from Zarita to Watermelon Joe. But, excusing Zarita, I don’t know none of them other folks very well. With them I just jives. Maybe I don’t even know you, but with you at least I talk. No doubt, you got some friends you know better. But don’t nobody know me better. So you be my best man.”

“Then I’m supposed to give you a bachelor’s party a night or two before the ceremony. Your wedding is going to cost me money, too, Jess! I’m certainly glad you’re drinking less these days, so I won’t have to stock up so heavy on liquors.”

“Just a keg of beer,” said Simple. “I mean one private one with my name on it. What you give the other jokers, I do not care. And the young folks will need some refreshments. F. D. is also getting married.”

“At the same time as you and Joyce?”