Back That Night Save as PDF
Contents ( 166)
  1. Gillian McAllister
  2. Contents
  3. About the Author
  4. Prologue
  5. 1.
  6. Cathy
  7. 2.
  8. Joe
  9. 3.
  10. Cathy
  11. 4.
  12. Now
  13. 5.
  14. Then
  15. 6.
  16. Joe
  17. Part I
  18. 7.
  19. Joe
  20. 8.
  21. Now
  22. 9.
  23. Then
  24. 10.
  25. Lydia
  26. 11.
  27. Joe
  28. 12.
  29. Cathy
  30. 13.
  31. Now
  32. 14.
  33. Then
  34. 15.
  35. Cathy
  36. Part II
  37. 16.
  38. Joe
  39. 17.
  40. Now
  41. 18.
  42. Then
  43. 19.
  44. Joe
  45. 20.
  46. Joe
  47. 21.
  48. Now
  49. Part III
  50. 22.
  51. Then
  52. 23.
  53. Cathy
  54. 24.
  55. Joe
  56. 25.
  57. Joe
  58. 26.
  59. Now
  60. 27.
  61. Then
  62. 28.
  63. Lydia
  64. 29.
  65. Joe
  66. 30.
  67. Cathy
  68. 31.
  69. Lydia
  70. 32.
  71. Cathy
  72. 33.
  73. Joe
  74. 34.
  75. Cathy
  76. 35.
  77. Now
  78. 36.
  79. Then
  80. 37.
  81. Joe
  82. 38.
  83. Now
  84. 39.
  85. Then
  86. 40.
  87. Joe
  88. 41.
  89. Now
  90. 42.
  91. Then
  92. 43.
  93. Joe
  94. 44.
  95. Cathy
  96. 45.
  97. Lydia
  98. 46.
  99. Joe
  100. 47.
  101. Cathy
  102. 48.
  103. Now
  104. 49.
  105. Then
  106. Part IV
  107. 50.
  108. Joe
  109. 51.
  110. Cathy
  111. 52.
  112. Now
  113. 53.
  114. Then
  115. Part V
  116. 54.
  117. Joe
  118. 55.
  119. Cathy
  120. Part VI
  121. 56.
  122. Joe
  123. 57.
  124. Cathy
  125. 58.
  126. Now
  127. 59.
  128. Then
  129. 60.
  130. Joe
  131. 61.
  132. Cathy
  133. 62.
  134. Cathy
  135. 63.
  136. Joe
  137. 64.
  138. Cathy
  139. 65.
  140. Joe
  141. 66.
  142. Lydia
  143. 67.
  144. Joe
  145. Part VII
  146. 68.
  147. Joe
  148. 69.
  149. Now
  150. 70.
  151. Then
  152. 71.
  153. Cathy
  154. 72.
  155. Now
  156. 73.
  157. Then
  158. 74.
  159. Now
  160. Epilogue
  161. Acknowledgements
  162. Read more
  163. Read more
  164. Prologue
  165. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
  166. Table of Contents

The policeman said nothing for a few seconds, looking into the distance, then back at Frannie. ‘For sure, it is best not to cause any trouble while you’re here,’ he said softly. He had heavy-lidded eyes, cheekbones so defined it looked like somebody had taken out two great round scoops from beneath them. ‘No shouting in the streets.’

‘He smoked over my fucking baby,’ Frannie said, uncharacteristically coarse. Cathy found the development of Frannie’s maternal instinct fascinating. Previously passive, she became occasionally fierce. It presented itself in myriad ways, Cathy remembers; in the early days, Frannie was smilingly unable to concentrate on anything but Paul, her gaze constantly trained on him, laughing off nights of no sleep. That’s love, Cathy assumes.

‘It is not nice for a young woman like you to harass men,’ the policeman said. ‘Or to swear at people when I only try … to help.’ He puffed air out of the side of his mouth, a small, contemptuous laugh that seemed, to Cathy, to say: you have no idea how powerful I am.

That was the catalyst. The first domino. The innocuous, stupid market altercation that led them to where they are now.

Cathy stares down at her handbag, which sits at her feet on the grey floor of the empty bus. Afterwards, she is going to Juliet’s Balcony. She comes each time they visit. She wanted to go, was saving it, but now she’s got to go to cover up what she’s really doing here. Covering up cover-ups.

She leans her head against the window as the bus pulls up near the old amphitheatre. As she steps off the bus, the sun runs warmth up her body, starting as her legs hit the sun, and moving upwards.

She thought she’d prefer some time by herself, but it feels like her heart is straining in her chest. She keeps thinking of William. His parents. A girlfriend? A child? The wallet seems to weigh down her bag more heavily than before.

Verona looks just the same as earlier in the week. Tourists out in the sun in the little alleyways, half in shade, half in light, drinking coffee, laughing, shading their eyes against the glare. Cathy walks into the main square, past the amphitheatre. She looks down one of the tunnels leading to the centre, sees blood-red carpets. All that history. Those sacrifices. Performances. Power. She turns away from it. She can’t bear it.

She needs a newsagent off the main thoroughfare. She walks up Via Carlo Cattaneo. Grey stone beneath her, azure above. Cathy is a dot in the universe.

She blinks slowly. They’re going to try to make William’s family – whoever they are – believe he is alive. She catches her reflection in a window. Shorts, a t-shirt. Sunglasses. She looks like a normal woman, but she is a monster. Must be. Is her own family worth so much more to her than another’s? And why?

Pastel-coloured buildings crowd in. She feels like she’s on a boat, like the floor is moving underneath her. She stops for a moment by a window with bars across it, like a cell, but then she has to keep moving again. Keep moving forward. Cover it up. Think about it after. Put as much distance between yourself and the crime. Deny, deny, deny, and Cathy is excellent at denying herself things. It’s not such a stretch to deny that something happened too.