Back That Night Save as PDF
Contents ( 166)
  1. Gillian McAllister
  2. Contents
  3. About the Author
  4. Prologue
  5. 1.
  6. Cathy
  7. 2.
  8. Joe
  9. 3.
  10. Cathy
  11. 4.
  12. Now
  13. 5.
  14. Then
  15. 6.
  16. Joe
  17. Part I
  18. 7.
  19. Joe
  20. 8.
  21. Now
  22. 9.
  23. Then
  24. 10.
  25. Lydia
  26. 11.
  27. Joe
  28. 12.
  29. Cathy
  30. 13.
  31. Now
  32. 14.
  33. Then
  34. 15.
  35. Cathy
  36. Part II
  37. 16.
  38. Joe
  39. 17.
  40. Now
  41. 18.
  42. Then
  43. 19.
  44. Joe
  45. 20.
  46. Joe
  47. 21.
  48. Now
  49. Part III
  50. 22.
  51. Then
  52. 23.
  53. Cathy
  54. 24.
  55. Joe
  56. 25.
  57. Joe
  58. 26.
  59. Now
  60. 27.
  61. Then
  62. 28.
  63. Lydia
  64. 29.
  65. Joe
  66. 30.
  67. Cathy
  68. 31.
  69. Lydia
  70. 32.
  71. Cathy
  72. 33.
  73. Joe
  74. 34.
  75. Cathy
  76. 35.
  77. Now
  78. 36.
  79. Then
  80. 37.
  81. Joe
  82. 38.
  83. Now
  84. 39.
  85. Then
  86. 40.
  87. Joe
  88. 41.
  89. Now
  90. 42.
  91. Then
  92. 43.
  93. Joe
  94. 44.
  95. Cathy
  96. 45.
  97. Lydia
  98. 46.
  99. Joe
  100. 47.
  101. Cathy
  102. 48.
  103. Now
  104. 49.
  105. Then
  106. Part IV
  107. 50.
  108. Joe
  109. 51.
  110. Cathy
  111. 52.
  112. Now
  113. 53.
  114. Then
  115. Part V
  116. 54.
  117. Joe
  118. 55.
  119. Cathy
  120. Part VI
  121. 56.
  122. Joe
  123. 57.
  124. Cathy
  125. 58.
  126. Now
  127. 59.
  128. Then
  129. 60.
  130. Joe
  131. 61.
  132. Cathy
  133. 62.
  134. Cathy
  135. 63.
  136. Joe
  137. 64.
  138. Cathy
  139. 65.
  140. Joe
  141. 66.
  142. Lydia
  143. 67.
  144. Joe
  145. Part VII
  146. 68.
  147. Joe
  148. 69.
  149. Now
  150. 70.
  151. Then
  152. 71.
  153. Cathy
  154. 72.
  155. Now
  156. 73.
  157. Then
  158. 74.
  159. Now
  160. Epilogue
  161. Acknowledgements
  162. Read more
  163. Read more
  164. Prologue
  165. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
  166. Table of Contents

‘It was just hard when you were all young,’ Maria says, and Joe guesses it was. A career woman in the eighties, married to a career man too.

‘I bet you look back on it fondly,’ he says, trying to invite it into the room. But what, exactly? Rosie, definitely, but also just Maria as she once was. The boy that lives in him is always looking for that, for that glimpse. He can see how badly damaged Cathy was by Rosie’s death, and he supposes he worries he might be similarly affected too.

His mother looks away from him. ‘Don’t you?’ he presses. Rosie would have been thirty next week. He knows what will happen in a few days’ time: his mother and father won’t answer their phones, will emerge a week later pleading busyness, stomach bugs, a tough DIY project. It’s the same every year. Her birthday goes both unmarked and marked in equal measure.

When she looks up at him, her eyes are wet. ‘I look back on a lot of things fondly,’ she says, and then she leaves, as though that sentence was a goodbye.

Joe looks down at some cat prescriptions, trying not to cry himself. God, he wants his mother. That smiling slide mother, as she once was, her arms open to him and all of his hopes and fears and problems.

The prescriptions. He was only co-signing them to occupy himself, but they’re wrong. He huffs.

‘These have the wrong dose on,’ he says, walking into the reception and waving them at Cathy. ‘You signed them yesterday?’

‘Do they?’ she says, but she isn’t looking at him.

‘Yeah – they’re ten times the dose. Cath?’

‘Oh – sorry,’ she says. ‘I must have – I don’t know. Lost my head a bit.’ She flashes a smile at him, just for a split-second. Blink and you’d miss it. Cathy’s way. What is going on with her? She never makes mistakes. And she seems pretty sanguine about it.

She’s told somebody. The paranoia arrives like a truth in Joe’s brain, the way anxiety always does. His chest constricts. His hands begin sweating.

‘Tough on all of us, isn’t it?’ he says, trying to dispel the panic and to open her up.

‘It’s fine,’ she says.

‘Right, nought point one mill, not one mill,’ Joe says, scribbling out the dose and signing it himself. ‘Okay?’

‘Yeah. Sorry.’

It’s dusk. Frannie left for the day at four, working one of her short days, so it’s just the two of them. The television is tuned to the news, as it always is, but is now, of course, rendered sinister for all of them.

Evan’s out the back, somewhere, reluctantly finishing the stitching. They need to be better with Evan, he is thinking, somewhere in the back of his mind, and stop giving him the shitty post-op tasks to do. Joe saw a coupon on his desk the other day: £2 off in Tesco, carefully clipped and folded. Maria would hate a non-Plant joining the partnership, but maybe Joe could do something for him … something magnanimous. Something good.