My heart filled up watching them, watching all of us. I was part of something that felt so pure and primal. It wasn’t just me, inside my own painful thoughts, hating myself for every petty thing from the sneaky packet of Marlboro Lights at the bottom of my handbag to the crinkly line that ran below my left eye. All of my loneliness, the petty ‘crimes’ I pinned my self-hatred on, felt like they were being burned away in this blazing circle of love. Tears were rolling down my cheeks now, and I momentarily took my hand away from Hannah’s, grinning at her with the open warmth I should have had from the first second I met her. I mopped them away with Sophie’s soft scarf, then pushed the thought of my sister aside and let my hand cover Hannah’s again.

‘We’re going to try and reach back now, Marco,’ said Arthur, his voice low and calm. ‘We’re going to try and reach back to where you and your father first found each other.’

Marco looked crumpled and exhausted, lying prone on the couch.

‘We’re with you, Marco!’ shouted Hannah. She giggled. ‘Is that allowed?’

‘We are, though!’ I added, and Amber smiled over at us both like an indulgent mum.

‘Okay!’ said Marco, some of his familiar cheekiness poking through again.

Arthur began his strange, guttural humming as Amber stalked around the couch, her gaze far away. She owned that room. She owned every single one of us.

‘Let yourself move backwards, Marco,’ she said, intense and focused. ‘Time is an illusion. It’s a construct. You can move beyond it. You can move beyond anything. You know that now.’

I watched Marco’s olive-skinned profile, the way his eyelids were flickering with deep internal effort. Was it as simple as that? Would I never again stand outside Londis with my credit card slicing into my palm, hating myself in advance for the sour-tasting Rioja I knew would be sluicing down my throat until the bottle was empty? Amber had urged me to be compassionate with myself, told me that all I’d been doing in those moments was self-medicating. Would today be the final dose – all the medicine I’d ever need?

‘I am muddy,’ he said eventually. ‘I am in the mud.’

‘You’re in the mud?’ said Amber. ‘How does it feel in your body?’

‘I am wet. I am cold.’

I could see his thin frame was starting to shiver. Tim was watching intently, his bald head cocked to one side. I tried to smile at him, but his gaze was unwavering. Was he professionally fascinated by the way Marco’s body was mirroring the memory?

‘Where are you, Marco?’ said Arthur. ‘Tell us what you see.’

‘I am… it’s a field.’ His shivering grew more pronounced. ‘It’s dangerous!’

‘Is anyone with you, Marco?’ said Amber. ‘Is there anyone you can ask to help you?’