‘I’m Arthur,’ said the older man sat on the other side of the table. He had a grey-flecked beard, slightly bushy, that made him look more distinguished than homeless. It was the elegance of his clothes too – their studied casualness undermined by the thick luxury of the dark denim and soft cashmere hanging off his solid frame. There was a hole in the elbow of the jumper, and I wondered if he’d secretly scissored it into existence. He had a presence, a confidence, that immediately drew me.

There was another man, Tim, closer to my age, who was tall and balding, his long body hunched back down over the table like a giraffe trying to take a drink. He wiggled his fingers companionably in my direction, nervy but warm. The last happy camper was a haunted-looking woman in her late forties, Joanna, who struggled to raise a smile when I said hello. Her ringless hands were wrapped tightly around a chipped mug, the steam condensing on her narrow, black-framed glasses. It was as if she was surrounded by a forcefield of misery. I swallowed down another wave of trepidation.

‘Joanna’s having lemon verbena tea,’ said Amber. ‘Would you like one too, Rachel?’

I felt a flash of irritation. Way to broadcast to the group that I’m an alcoholic.

‘I’ll just have water, thanks,’ I said, and Marco carefully poured some from a smudged glass jug that sat on the table, his burning eyes telling me he’d taken on board my ‘problem’.

Amber walked to the head of the table and clapped her hands.

‘Welcome, everyone,’ she said, laying a hand on her heart. A gold star was hanging around her neck, dipping down into her cleavage, which led the eye to follow. I noticed Arthur’s eyes already seemed to be taking the hint. ‘I want to tell you how honoured I am that you’re all trusting me to take you on this healing journey.’

She bowed to us, and we spontaneously bowed back, our eyes darting towards each other and back to her. I felt a little firework of jealousy go off as I saw their rapt expressions – did they carry Amber around in their heads the way I did, always leaning on her for a snippet of silent advice? I needed to purge this negativity.

‘Let’s close our eyes and breathe together, take a moment to set an intention for the days ahead.’

The darkness was quickly broken by a snuffling sob. I let my eyes blink open. Eyeliner streaked Hannah’s plump cheeks, her broad shoulders heaving. Amber rushed to her.

‘My brave girl,’ she said, enveloping her in a hug. ‘It’s taken a lot for you to get here, hasn’t it?’